francineangel

The Leap Day

2012-02-29T21:03:00.002+08:00

This Leap day was spent realizing so many things about my life. Being out of employment and having my own business has its pros and cons. The things I have learned are very valuable because they taught me why nothing has happened to my finances for the past 8 years of working. Familiarization with motivational books such as The Secret, Think and Grow Rich etc..., I am already expected to be positive in everything.

Today is an exception. I have been thinking of that things that I gave up and why my actions in the past had to happen when I eventually had to let them go. Why did I ask for the name of our family business to be changed to my name when I changed my plan of going to the US to apply as a teacher. Why was I so blessed to get the position of an Assistant Training Manager when most of the trainers I know have been in the same position for years and didn't even get the chance I got. But then, I gave it up. For what? For a dream that is meant to happen.

I know that the prize that awaits me is beyond what I could ever imagine. Yet today, I found that there's a weakness inside me which I chose to blind myself on. Life is hard. And for that I admire my mother and my titos and titas sooo much for being so strong. Sometimes I wonder if I can ever be like them. Like in the recent episode of The Walking Dead, maybe its best if we end everything now so we don't have to suffer. If I continue, no one knows what's going to happen.

If there was only a LIFE teacher who would rate me and tell me whether my performance is Poor, Average, Above Average, Top 10 or with honors, life would be more appealing. If she could tell me that all these all part of the syllabus that I have to take for me to end up being ---- a multi-millionaire, then I would know that I should outlast all of these challenges. But then there's only God who knows the plan for each of us. And even if I cry a bucket of tears, I will never know where or what His grand (if ever it is grand) plan for me is until I finish the race.

Every month it gets harder and harder. And this is one of the days when I breakdown. Should I continue or should I make an action to improve things NOW?

The answer is always the hardest for the consequences are HUGE too.

Going back to Yesterday

2011-11-21T19:42:00.003+08:00

I told myself that I will be closing this blog as I also close the chapter of my life that I already decided to end. But here I am going back here to pour my heart out like the old days. Have you ever felt that you can't understand yourself? You seem to want something but don't really know what it is. And you seem to be looking for happiness but don't know how to find it or maybe it is just disguised and you are running out of hermits to talk to so they can give you the magic words to see what is hidden.

#1.Although I took up a course related to communication, I seem to have a problem communicating what i feel. I know I have always been like this before and for sure, I am not the only one with this kind of problem.

#2. My love for thrills have already gotten me into trouble. I enjoy the sudden rush of feeling that would lead me to find it when I get bored.

I have made mistakes in the past- I have hurted people in the process. I learned and they definitely learned a lot from me. Things have become serious from that point on. I have accepted a huge responsibility that I am trying my best to be very good at. Now I understand elders when they give their "when I was younger..., look at what happened to me" story. In life, we wonder what if the mistake never happened? Would I be happier?

But, there is always no point in thinking about the "what ifs". We always have to keep moving forward. I know... Yet most of the time, I want to visit the places I once used to going to. Do the things that "Gem" still loves to do. I daydream about going back on a specific year and stay there- be trapped.

How do you completely erase everything? In some relationships, they always remember how bad the relationship was. But for me, how do you forget the happy memories? How do you erase "forever and ever"?

Knowing myself, I have always been proud. I always win in arguments. And I am stubborn enough to always say that I will never regret the things that I have done because I learned from them. However, there is always that sometime... when I let my guard down and let everything flow...

maybe... this song was meant for me.

Oh Life!

2011-02-09T04:00:00.004+08:00

I can't believe how this world can really make people age faster than they should. With the kind of job I have and the things I also have to learn being a mother, I don't think I even have the time to do the things I like such as playing the guitar, writing blog entries, reading books, and pampering myself with new clothes etc...

The world has really changed. Whew!

Singapore 2011 at OneTrueMedia.com

2011-01-21T05:46:00.001+08:00

A summary of our Trip to Singapore

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Just there... somewhere

2010-11-17T09:57:00.002+08:00

Understanding a person can be very difficult. Yet, I easily get to summarize how a person would behave which would tell what kind of character he has. However, what really eats my brain is the fact that I cannot understand myself. I know the things that I did before but I am not sure if those mix of decisions that were not thought of very well is really all there is to my personality.

When I try to ask myself who I am, thinking gets too long that I end up realizing nothing made sense. Right now, all I know is that I am a mother who is learning not to mess up my life because that is the foundation that I can offer my dearest baby. Other than that, I am blank. I work not for a career, but just to earn. I would sometimes ask myself what my dreams are for myself but my dreaming stopped for a long while now.

Sometimes I would think where I would be if my parents and relatives are no longer here. I think I'll break down. When the world is being so tough, who will help me make it better not just for my baby but for me too? I have an amnesia. I don't know who I am.

Wonderful One Year

2010-10-18T10:57:00.001+08:00

There are many things that we are thankful for. And one of the best things would be the gift of having our daughter Megan into our lives. She has turned one year and I am sure everybody can’t deny how sweet and lovely she is. During the party, she never cried at all. She was smiling to everyone and she welcomed them with open arms.

We thank all our relatives and friends who were there.

Right now, I can say that I am also blessed to have Megan’s “TRUE” godparents who really care not just for Megan, but for our family too.

"US"

2010-10-04T12:02:00.005+08:00

To the one person who is like a maze that's hard to read. You give me all the nicest, weirdest, and scariest thoughts in my lifetime.

But nevertheless, you're the person who says less yet gets to send me all the messages in the world. Here's my message for you...

This is US

I'm like a sunday morning.
Your like friday night.
And when we kiss it's the perfect weekend
No rain in sight.
And when I'm feelin incomplete your my missing piece.
And when you need your breath taken away I'll be your thief.

From the start to the end we don't need to pretend
That were perfect all the time.
Cuz we know what we have through the good and the bad
It's the strength that you can't deny.

I don't need to find a million reasons why
This is us. This is us. And this is how we love.
Some ways we're different but together we're so right.
This is us. This is us. And this is how we love.

Ooh Ah. Yeah.

And even if we fall apart we'll never feel alone.
Just like the moon starts risin' our hearts bring us home.
We can always find eachoher like the northern star.
Doesn't matter where we are our love can't go that far.

From the start to the end we don't need to pretend
That were perfect all the time.
Cuz we know what we have through the good and the bad
It's the strength that you can't deny.

I don't need to find a million reasons why
This is us. This is us. And this is how we love.
Some ways we're different but together we're so right.
This is us. This is us. And that's the way we love.

We don't always see eye to eye.
You might see a million colors.
I just see it black and white.
Aint no way we could get much higher
Cuz when we touch it feels like fire
We both know how good this feels.

Yes we do baby because
This is you. This is me. This is us.

I don't need to find a million reasons why
This is us. This is us. And this is how we love.
Some ways were different but together we're so right.
This is us. This is us. And this is how we love.

Baby. This is how we love. This is us. This is us. Oooh.

This is how we love. Yeahh.

Confronting...

2010-09-22T21:42:00.002+08:00

Horoscope for today says:

it's time to confront problems surrounding an intimate relationship. For such a confrontational person, you are reluctant to rock the boat with your best friend, lover, or business partner. Unfortunately, looking the other way is only making your problems worse. You need help, and the only person able to give it is your partner. Start handing off some of your responsibilities or you'll collapse under the burden of too much work. You're tremendously capable, but there's a limit to what one person can do! - Russel Grant

Oh yes there has been a huge talk about helping and handling off responsibilities. I just don't know if the conversation was all understood.

The Child talks

2010-09-22T01:12:00.005+08:00

What's there to write? How would readers be entertained with my ordinary life when I have nothing to write but disappointments, complaints, and darkness?

When I was a kid, I used to dream so big. I wanted to become an actress, or a popular singer, or like every girl's dream, to find a prince charming that would take me to a life full of pleasures and happiness. As I grew, I started to adjust my dreams because I realized that they were not going to happen. I ended up being a teacher. Although I was earning a little, I still enjoyed what I was doing because I got to sing during school activities, directed plays, and taught theater arts. At that time, I still believed that I will go far.

But when the need to earn more kicked in, I saw that teaching in the academe would not be enough anymore. Yes, I believed I will go far. From a trainer, I became a training manager. My title changed but I am totally far from reaching any pleasurable life. I ended up taking more and more responsibilities, sleeping lesser and lesser, but not enjoying life the way I envisioned myself to be.

I dream of going through different places, but now, I couldn't even file for a vacation leave. I want to earn more, but now, my salary doesn't get any higher whether I extend and stay 14 hours in the office or come in during my rest days.

I want to continue dreaming and believing that everyone is meant for something big. Is that for real or is it time for me to face the fact that not everyone gets to become a Manny Pacquiao or Charice Pempengco? The child inside me is dying. It seems like every time I hope for something bigger and better, someone will just smash the truth to my face that life isn't candies. How can ordinary people with wages of 14k survive even with kids?

Is this the farthest I can go? is this everything I'll ever be? Everyone gets a break. Where is mine? Or Am I past my big break? Are most people meant to be slaves in companies?

Quitting my job just to get a rest often comes in my mind. But no. My prince charming doesn't own a kingdom to let me just take care of the house and the baby. Like most ideal partners do, I have to divide my time between work and personal life to assure the prince that he is not neglected. Balancing these can really be a pain in the neck. Often, I find myself more stressed trying to be perfect for the two- a responsible manager for my trainers, and a responsible girlfriend and mother. I end up so drained. This is something big... could this be what I am meant for? But if it is, where is pleasure? And who takes care of me while I take care of the whole world? I hope it doesn't mean that if you are good in finding solutions for problems, you end up being the one to always look for a solution. I am tired. My dreams are the only ones that give color to life. But I can't see where my dreams are anymore.

I look at my monitor and see how colors of the cells in excel reach through December. I guess I won't be taking a break till the holidays. Please... if there is any hope out there for me, come find me.

Movie Watch: Resident Evil Afterlife

2010-09-17T13:59:00.002+08:00

I have nothing more to say. This movie kept my eyes unblinking and my feet on the ground. Although the story is very simple- the goal of getting to Arcadia- the fight scenes and the zombies are superb. Add the effects to that!

Movie Watch: Salt

2010-08-18T05:48:00.002+08:00

Oh for weeks I had ranted about not having watched SALT. We tried but because of our busy life, we just couldn't catch the movie on time. Good thing, last Saturday, I finally got to see it. It was already the second time though. Knowing how impatient I am, I thought I'd never get to watch it in the movie house anymore. Thus, I watched a downloaded file. It was helpful for me because I fell asleep on some parts not out of boredom but due to tiredness. I really need to take Vitamins. =D

But that's it... SALT. Amazing stunts.- Very Angelina Jolie.

Movie Watch

2010-08-13T13:12:00.001+08:00

It’s already too late but I watched it just the same because we missed the starting of Salt.

A very simple movie. The effects are not that amazing either.

Railey Eizen’s Baptism

2010-08-13T13:06:00.001+08:00

Okay, I won’t post much for now because I am super busy.

Just want to share a few pics from Railey’s baptism.

And of course, drinking session…

At Last, A Jellicle Ball in Manila

2010-08-08T05:56:00.001+08:00

Last October 12, 2002, which was 8 years ago, I fell in love with Cats. It was the year of my vibrant youth where the world did not seem so complicated. All I had to do was to go to school, deal with the pressures of examinations, talk to friends, dance and perform inside the University’s theater and pour my heart out into what I love the most, the arts.

Back then, performing Cats was almost an impossible dream. None of us, my classmates in IV-37' BSE English, were professional dancers to be able to master the steps that we saw in the VCD that we all watched. However, no one can stop a person, more so a class from doing what they want to. From that time, PNU’s Cats was born.

This is the main reason why this Broadway play, other than Wicked, is the closest to my heart. Orly informed me of the ticket sale a few months back. And after waiting for August 1st that seemed so far away, it finally happened. Cats is here in Manila.

More blessing was that I was given the chance to watch the Dress Rehearsal. My eyes were glued and I couldn’t stop myself from singing and reminiscing how we were all so like the performers that I have seen. Even though I was sick when I went to the dress rehearsal, it didn’t matter. I was one of the firsts to see the performance.

Orly and I wanted our college friends to see the play too so we can have a reunion of some sort. The others claimed that they will be watching on the same date too but we never really saw them. We ended up wondering where they were.

At last, August 1. We got to Harbour Square early so we can all get a decent parking. I was with my sister and my boi.

Sime and Orly were already wearing their CATS shirts.

We talked endlessly about the past and we were so into it. We recalled how I played Bombalurina and he reminded me of the number of special performances that I did way back in college which were requested by the college dean and professors whenever there were special occasions. Oh my red leotards and my head dress! I so enjoy those moments. Orly, on the other hand, played Munkustrap. And again, he told us how her grandmother washed his costume the second time we needed to perform because she thought it was a rug and it was sooo dirty.

A few minutes before the performance, we met up with Maricris. She was our Macavity. When the show started, we were all glued. The show has improved tremendously from dress rehearsal. The lights were far better when the Overture was played. When Jellicle Songs began, I once again fell in love for a hundredth time. During the last few minutes of the 20 minute break, the Cats went down to the audience and were scattered in the entire theater house. Here we really got to see them up close.

If you’re asking me how the performance was, kindly read Orly’s review. And to my surprise, he wrote in detail how we got to sneak in his digital camera even if the security was strict. You can read that too here.

Gus, the theater cat sang

“I have played in my time every possible part
And I used to know seventy speeches by heart
I'd extemporize backchat, I knew how to gag
And I knew how to let the cat out of the bag”

Oh well… when I grow old, I will always remember this day. And if it’s time to go to heaven, wouldn’t Grizabella’s scene seem more happier than the fear of death itself?!

I took our VHS where our production were saved 8 years now. Since time and technology rapidly progressed, I need to keep up and have this transferred to DVD. Once it’s converted, then we can start talking far better.

Jellicle Ball in Manila was really the best!

Letting Go and Starting Anew

2010-08-04T19:45:00.002+08:00

Letting Go. Two weeks ago, I logged in my desktop at home and was surprised to see that our 500GB external hard drive which was almost full showed free storage. I panicked. What happened to all the files?!! I started to yell at my sister through text trying to find out who to blame on what happened. Was it a virus? Was it reformatted? Can I still recover the files? I was really fuming with anger.

Since my friends are techie, of course they were from Dell, I got help in downloading a data recovery software. I saw it scanned around 300 thousand files. When it was finally done scanning, it asked for another storage where the files will be saved. I plugged my 1 terabyte external HD. It slowed the system sooo much. We had to restart. Thus, I had to scan again. Me and my sister left it during the night to finish scanning. When we woke up, the desktop crashed.

Frustration was getting more and more. I removed the 500GB and got an enclosure. When I powered it on, the light lit for a second then died. I unplugged it from the outlet. In a few minutes, I smelled something burnt. I had no idea which was it. I just prayed that it wasn't the HD.

I then brought the HD to Raymond, my friend, but he too was unsuccessful in retrieving the files because when he plugged the HD to his desktop, he also smelled something burning. I am already out of options but I am not giving up. Right now, the HD is with Mac. He will try to have a technician repair the physical hard drive so we can hopefully get the data in it.

Why is it hard to let go of memories? Till now I couldn't think yet of the idea that I will have to start from scratch again in downloading everything that I have slowly compiled and worked for in the past 5 years. All the albums that are so hard to find, all my Broadway soundtracks, all my favorite movies, my CEC files, my Videos since I started working as a teacher, everything is gone.

The only things I have left of those memories that I was able to salvage were the pictures that I was able to transfer to my 1 tera and this, my multiply. In a way, I appreciated Multiply so much because I can still recall the good times by looking at my posts here.

I still have to wait and find out what news Mac will give me about the 500GB HD. We cannot let go of the past because it gives us memories. Those memories have become a part of us and have a helped us in becoming who we are now. But then again, if something is broken and is already non-repairable, we all have no choice but to start making new memories and this time, we know how to better take care of it so we don't lose them in the future.

If the data is totally lost, I know I couldn't get the same files back but I can start downloading again and start anew. If the data is gone, there's nothing I can do.

In life, we face this situation too wherein we just couldn't let go of memories. However, we all have to deal with past memories so we can all finally have another start. As difficult as it is for me to let go of all my files, I know they will be replaced; maybe i will miss my Broadway music, and the videos that i will no longer see, but I will have more Music to download and organize and definitely more videos to take.

I am going back to Multiply so I can start saving new memories.

Monday!

2010-07-20T11:41:00.001+08:00

Issues in the office just keep on filing up. Last night was really something. Most of the time, I have to face the client and take the shot for something that I didn’t do. People tend to be forgetful of their actions and how it would affect other people. They become careless. Suddenly, when things get worse, they will always leave everything like it’s not their own doing.

I do not really care if I take all the bullets. Most of the time I think I am so naive and kind that I let myself be used till I am no more. I am not saying that it is good. But on a positive note, I just tell myself that God sees everything. He sees the good things that a few people would do for their neighbor. Thus, I believe that I will get rewarded. Like the saying “pinagpapala ang mga naaapi”, I firmly know that in the next life, I will be blessed for taking all the bullets that the careless people I work with tried to run away from.

A Busy Sunday

2010-07-19T04:52:00.003+08:00

The original plan was to sleep a few hours before going to Trinoma to have Sunday lunch with my Highschool barkada. When I woke up at 9am, I was informed that we have to take my sister to the hospital because she was having severe abdominal pain. I woke up Yamong and asked him if he can drive us first to St. Lukes. When we got there, he received a phone call from his sister asking if he can drive her to UST. Yamong and I drove back to our area to pick up his sister. At first, we were already hesitant to go to Trinoma because the plan was already going hay-wire. But then, what the heck… I rarely get to see my friends anymore.

Instead of having an eat-all you can lunch at Kamay Kainan, we ended up at Super Bowl because most of my friends backed out of the set occasion too.

Kaye is 6 months pregnant now and her tummy is already showing. Nenz was with her boys, Karl and Dime (not in the picture). It was really nice talking about what’s been happening to each other. I just wish the others could have made it too.

After the lunch, Yamong and I did a few shoppings and strolling before we watched The Sorcerer's Apprentice. The movie was just average. A lot of humorous lines were delivered by the main character. Of course Nicholas Cage’s performance was good. But honestly, I think I fell asleep at some parts. And the ending was simple. I was expecting a really good battle since Morgana, the evil sorceress was supposed to be very powerful. But nevertheless, the effects and music were good.

Eclipse and A New Start

2010-07-12T01:52:00.003+08:00

I finally get it why last week I was so moody and my anger went skyrocketing. Let’s just say that my excuse is because of the solar eclipse last July 11. As per my monthly horoscope read from Susan Miller’s Astrologyzone, which by the way is very detailed and quite accurate (I can attest to it), changes need to happen, the past needs to be addressed so we can start anew after the eclipse.

It was so painful to have to go back and deal with the same issues all over again. I hate being paranoid and not getting enough sleep with the same problems I faced 6 months ago. Apparently, people REFUSE to move forward and COMPLETELY forget about the past. This pisses me off.

Again, there are reasons why people are in your past. There are reasons why things ended up like this. We can’t hold ourselves forever liable for someone’s own doing. And if we want a new start, we can begin by letting go of the things and the people who are no longer part of that future.

To miss-i-can’t-move-on, stop bothering my family. Stop fooling people’s mind that you’re sad and you’re trying to move on but just can’t when you are partying with you’re friends and meeting with boys here and there. You’re a real monkey… you’re so wise you think everyone is stupid.

Well, we already talked about it. And I can assure you, I will be guiding this family till the past stops interrupting our present and our well deserved future. There’s one thing I will make sure… YOU WON’T BE THERE.

Talking about what pains me and bothers me really helped a lot. Now we finally realized how important it is to work extra hard and compromise since we value this family so much.

darkness

2010-07-05T10:44:00.001+08:00

My best time of the day these days is when I can just stare in to nothingness and get lost to my train of thoughts. What have I done to my life? Its a question that people normally ask themselves. I never thought I’d be asking myself the same question right now and feel very worried about what my answers would be.

I wanted to ask my mother how she did it. How she got the courage to forget about her own dreams and start working just to give me and my sisters a better life. Right now, I am just into my eight month and I am starting to deteriorate. My mind starts to think that I couldn’t do it. And sometimes, I would like to think that life would be sweeter if I let go of being so responsible and just don’t care at all. But I of course couldn’t do that to an innocent who brings me joy in her own little ways.

I need help. I just don’t know how to do it and if I’ll ever learn how to.

My neighbor

2010-06-14T07:19:00.002+08:00

I really wanted to share a lot of things that has happened in our lives as partners but sometimes I think if there's anybody out there who cares. Maybe I am just writing this for my pleasure. Well, the heck if no one reads this blog. I'm still going to write and take note of my memories for when I die, for sure someone would be interested in how I have lived my life. Whether it be a family member or a stranger, somehow, someone will care.

Recently, my neighbor, a brother of a famous actress died in a car accident. I have no idea on what he is as a person but I sympathize to his family because he died at such a young age. Who wouldn't when you know that the person is healthy and have huge plans on how he would live his life, then in an instant, he's gone. I never knew him personally but I saw him grew up the same time I did.

They say every dead man is a good man. We would never know when our last day would be. And this is a lesson that my neighbor taught me. Wherever his soul is, I hope he gets to accept this fate. To his family, my sincerest condolences. I do not know how hard and hurtful it is but my prayers are with you.

Our religion tells us of a beautiful hope that all of us will meet when we face death. That gives us hope to continue living our lives even when others have gone to another world.

Boredom- you're not gonna reach my Telephone...

2010-04-23T04:44:00.004+08:00

It's been 7 hours since I got here in the office. Honestly, this week has been the most relaxing week since the time I became a manager. So don't think badly of me if I try to enjoy it most specially by posting this article of mine.

Just days ago, I saw the extended video of Lady Gaga and Beyonce's "Telephone". And like what the news say, the video has a lot of influences in it. I like the video because of the storyline but it has nothing to do with the song! And being a parent, I would not want my kid to watch the extended version of it because you woouldn't want your 10 year old dressing up like Lady Gaga right?

While browsing, I saw this Filipino parody of the same song. Man it made me laugh. I am alone here in the room so as much as I would want to share it to someone, there's no one. That's why I'm sharing this to you.

My suggestion, watch the original extended video first before you watch this. What I really love in this video is the creativity of the people who made this possible. The Bahay Kubo, the padding of the brassiere, their projection, the electric fan for the steering wheel, the black garbage bag covering the large hat, the jellyace container, the kurtina, the kamias, the dance steps, and the editing of the video. Really hilarious!

Yes these are young gays but let's not discriminate them for being such. I appreciate the fact that they placed so much effort in making this video.

Here you go! the Debut of "Telephone" parody by Mayaman University

Weddings

2010-04-21T00:59:00.014+08:00

Marriage is one of my common tags in this blog. It's a topic that I've opened up for discussion a long time ago. Like every girl I know, it's a serious matter that I would not joke about. I still remember my wedding dream which I have posted here way back. I just want to marry the person I love and I want that person to love me so much that it shows in his eyes. He wouldn't be shy to admit it to the world that he is not one of the jerks in this world who think that being married means death and being limited to one woman for the rest of his life is impossible.

It is true that those men who decides to marry are to be admired because they have the guts to commit. But I'm not saying that if a man stays single, he isn't to be admired too. What I meant is that those in a relationship and decides to marry are really something.

Last Sunday, I attended the fifth wedding I was invited on for this year. I am really amazed with the number of weddings that I had to prepare for starting December of last year. Let me recount to you these events.

Kaye and Tim's Wedding

Raymond & Enelee's Wedding

Butch & Christel's Wedding

Tinay (my sister) & Don's Wedding

JM and Raine's Wedding

I'm happy that my friends have finally stepped into the next chapter of their life. I always pray that all marriages work. Whenever I attend weddings, I feel happy for every bride, and I feel pride for every groom. Although people nowadays do not believe anymore in the sacredness of marriage, I still believe and I know these couples also believe that the promises made on these days come from the heart and were sworn before God which makes them accountable in keeping them true.

Everyone was destined for something or someone. Once God thinks you are ready, He will give the rightful person to you. Someone who will be different from the ordinary MEN that we all know. Someone who has the courage to be a REAL man.

A Beautiful Man

2010-04-08T11:37:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling very cheezzyyy...

This song really brought back this high school kind of feeling in my current relationship. The feeling of that thrill of just being together. Yes we already have our little angel, but it really helps a lot when we have this sweet love to keep us strong.

Others say that it's a very good wedding song... It could be. But for now, it's not a wedding song for me but a song that I dedicate to the most beautiful man in my life.

Beautiful (As You)- All 4 One
click here to listen

From the moment I saw you,
From the moment I looked into your eyes.
There was something about you.
I knew, I knew,

That you were once in a lifetime,
A treasure near impossible to find.
And I know how lucky I am to have you.

Cause I've seen rainbows that could take your breath away,
the beauty of the setting sun, on any given day.

When it comes to shooting stars, I have seen a few, but
Id never seen anything as beautiful as you.

I Can't believe that I have you,
I can't believe that your here in my arms.
I've been waiting a lifetime for you, for you,
And I've dreamed about you, I pictured in my mind what
I would see, but I never imagined just how beautiful
you'd be.

Cause I've seen rainbows that could take your breath
away. The beauty of the setting sun on any given day,
and when it comes to shooting stars, I have seen a few,
but I've never seen anything as beautiful as you.

la la la la la la la.....

Oh Ohhhhhhhhaaaaa

I've seen rainbows that could take your breath away,
the beauty of the setting sun on any given day, when it
comes to shooting stars, I have seen a few, but I have
never seen (ever seen), anything (anything), as beautiful
as you.

Well I've never seen anything -- yeah ehhhhhhh, as beautiful
as you.

From the moment I saw you,
From the moment I looked into your eyes.

Who's the BOSS now?

2010-04-07T03:57:00.004+08:00

Oh yes, I have been gone for a very long time. I know. I know. But as always, I have a valid reason. Life has been very generous to me specially when it comes to career. While I was on maternity leave, my former manager wanted me to drop by the office and apply for a position that no one has gotten yet out of its many internal applicants. I wish I could spend a few more paragraphs in discussing the details of what happened here and how people who do not know me talked about me because I applied. But I'll probably just do it in another entry.

Let's cut that part short. I am now the Assistant Training Manager for our account. And apart from the number of trainers who resigned and were forced to resigned, not because of me, for some other reasons, my life has been very pressured with the demands of the Clients and of that of the Operations. And recently, I have not been enjoying much of what I am doing. It is true that people want high salary. However, I assure you that getting that salary would entail working extra hours in the office, being paranoid whenever you receive a phone call, sneaking at nights during the weekends just to do office work, and most of the time, not being able to spend the weekends for your family because your mind is occupied with work related matters.

When I was teaching in the academe, I didn't like checking test papers and creating lesson plans after I get home. I used to envy those who work in the banks because they only work for 8 hours and can already relax after their shift. I on the other hand have stuff to prepare and finish. This is why I left the academe. But now... this is far worse than having stacks of paper to check. The people I have to deal with everyday and the stress they are giving me makes me 10 times older than my age. It might be true that it could be a way for me to learn more skills but it definitely is not healthy for me at the moment.

On the positive side, I get to value weekends more. I always look forward into spending quality time with my family. And I really, really, love weekends now more than ever. Monday palang gusto ko na mag Saturday!

I can't really say that office is Hell because it isn't. I am still thankful that I have a job, much better than I imagined my stay in the company would turn out, I still have a few of my old time friends left, and I get more pay. I am still thankful that at least I still have a company to call my own unlike those who left the company out of impulsiveness who until now cannot find peace in companies that they have been going to and fro looking for something that they couldn't find.

Small steps will get me somewhere. I hope that somewhere is a country which starts with a big letter "C". That's another entry for next time. =P

Welcome to Motherhood

2009-11-06T14:45:00.002+08:00

Today marks my 1 month of being a mother. Shock?! Well the initial reaction of most people when they found out. Anyway, there's really not much to say about the story of my life right now but the fact that it's complicated. My answer to all the complications are patience (yeah, I know I was born to think of myself first... ARIES... but maybe it's time to change), prayers (though I don't get to go to the church nowadays, my prayer book inside my bag helps a lot), and my journal (not this one! I have a notebook that contains all my rants and miseries in life).

I stopped blogging for awhile because I was busy at work and I was pregnant. So now that I'm back, I'll take you through my trial and error phase as a new mother.

What happened when I was pregnant?

Well, contrary to how other pregnant mothers are, I didn't gain weight. In fact, I LOST a lot of weight during the first trimester. People in the office started noticing and complementing that I was getting slimmer. Of course I was both elated but worried. Women are afraid of getting pregnant because they will gain weight but here I am loosing weight! However, I was worried because it might be harmful for the baby. For first time mothers out there, it is normal if your tummy doesn't show at once. My tummy grew at my eight month. The doctor said I was lucky because my tummy isn't that big because it's pure baby, no excess water, no excess fats.

Here are some before and after pics...

5 MONTHS

7 MONTHS

Mich (with a balloon) and ME
8 MONTHS

9 MONTHS

And after one month of giving birth

NOW...

What are the benefits that I will miss after pregnancy?

1. Eating more than the usual (at least i have an excuse... I am eating for two!)
2. The special seats in the LRT. (People would always give me a seat even if it's rush hour)
3. The morning shift (training is always in the morning shift)
4. I have a 60 day vacation - yey!
5. The baby kicks and my round tummy (sometimes I miss it)

Giving Birth

Oh I tell you... like everyone else, I was a bit scared of giving birth. But my experience was not traumatic at all. On October 6 around 1 am, I got up to go to the restroom when suddenly, water started going down my thighs. It wet my pajamas. But I was not sure whether I should already rush to the hospital because I was not feeling that much pain. (You know how it is in the movies- woman shouting in pain) I do not want to go to the hospital just to be told that it's false alarm. However, my OB said that if it's blood or water, rush to the hospital! So we did. Everyone was panicking except me.

Around 2am, the nurse asked me if I want to be sedated. I asked her if I had to be. She said I should be if I cant take the pain anymore. Maybe I have high pain tolerance. I do not want to sleep yet because I want to be awake when everything happens. The nurses won in the end. They sedated me. Trance. Yes that's what I felt. I was half awake. I felt the pain but it seems as if I was dreaming. And then!!! Tada! My Baby Megan was born. 7.2 pounds, normal delivery.
Giving birth was not that hard. =)

INFANTS 101

Sleepless nights, here we go! Sometimes I would lose my cool whenever my baby keeps crying at night. (call center na call center- night shift) What I found out is that babies have to be fed every 2 to 3 hours so they do not get dehydrated. It's now up to me to find a way to adjust my sleep to meet her demands.

Babies love to be wrapped with a blanket. They easily fall asleep because they feel like they are still in the mother's womb.

Do whatever it takes to make them fall asleep. Sing if you have to. Rock them if you must. Then you can do the necessary adjustments later so these do not become a habit when the baby is old enough.

Bottles. I thought they are all the same until the Pedia told me that the opening of the nipple is too big for my baby, she'll easily choke. She asked me to buy a nipple for 0-3 months. And when I compared the drops of the milk, she was right! Malay ko ba... akala ko pare pareho lang ang feeding bottle noh.

There. I am slowly learning on my own. There are too many traditions and beliefs about taking care of babies. My take, ask your pedia. They would know what's best.

Finally I was able to update this.

what i miss

2009-10-04T07:33:00.000+08:00

i miss...

the late night road travels to new places
the genuine care and understanding of what I'm feeling
the effort of doing everything for my best intention
being loved whether i look ugly, fat or old
being the center of someone's life
being the queen of one's heart
not being miserable
being happy...
the old me

Ondoy

2009-10-03T20:49:00.008+08:00

Everybody's been talking about Ondoy or international name TYPHOON KETSENA when it hit the Philippines. We all have our stories to tell. For sure mine isn't as dramatic as the ones captured on video and were posted on Youtube. And I'm glad it is not.

Saturday is my last day of work every week so that day, September 26, 2009.. oh how could I forget?!, I was just waiting for my shift to end so I can go home. The rain started pouring non-stop, the sky was dark... very dark. Some of the trainers thought of cancelling the classes so the trainees could go home early. That day, I was really feeling low. A mood wrecker didn't stop troubling me. As if I am that easy to put down! Let's just call her ˝Mayordoma˝ in English, CHAMBERMAID (this came from straight from the horse's mouth and not my words). And why would I let a simple chambermaid affect my day? I went out of the office and did the following

1. had my haircut and my toenails done at Davids
2. bought a bag from Girbaud
3. shopped for make ups at the department store

Everyone at the mall kept talking about their colleagues who weren't able to go to work because of the bad weather. And when I got back to the office, the trainees were already waiting outside. They were not allowed to leave the premises unless they sign a waiver. A lot of areas were already flooded. Thus, my ride wont be able to pick me up in the office. I waited and waited for the time when my aunt would say I can go home but the messages I got told me not to go home because the flood was rising. The heavens were so heavy that day... it was comparable to what I was feeling.

A lot of us were stuck in the office. Good thing the company was ready for disasters like this. First, they gave us free meals. Then they gave us sleeping bags, pillows and blankets. Camping like highschool teens, we slept at the training room comfortably. My only worry that day was my aching tummy. I was praying for Megan not to come out yet. I know I was so stressed that's why my fear was really to give birth inside the office, or in a cab that would not make it to any nearby hospital because of the flood. I tried to sleep so I would not think of the possibilities. And since God is good... I woke up feeling energized.

free meal
the office evacuation center (our style)

When I saw the videos posted on Facebook, I realize that I was still lucky.. no, make that very lucky because I was able to sleep comfortably while a lot of families stayed at the roof of their houses waiting to be rescued. I was able to have free meals while the others had nothing to eat because their entire houses were submerged in flood. And most of all, I thought I have a very big problem when a lot of people lost their loved ones because they either drowned, starved, or had an accident because of the weather.

My experience as I said is not traumatic. And again, I am blessed that I am safe. I could not imagine myself in the position of our homeless fellowmen in the evacuation centers seeking for help. And knowing that I am in a better position, what I can offer would be prayers to the families who are affected and I wish their recovery would be swift.

Bags and Impulsive shopping

2009-08-14T14:14:00.003+08:00

Recently I have been having excessive short tempers. Just last night, when my aunt was doing a general clean up, she said she would be throwing some of our old bags that are already unrepairable. Then she showed me this big travel bag and I was surprised when I found my Liz Claiborne bag inside it. I have completely forgotten about the bag when it was borrowed by my sister. And I suddenly went ballistic when I saw a portion of the bag unstitched! I haven't even used the bag, for heaven's sake.

My temper rose and I wanted to scream. I took my Walt Disney bag that my sister was using at that time, which she also borrowed from me. I removed all her things and I told my aunt that I will never lend my bags to anyone again.

Because of this, I suddenly had the urge to find a bag cleaner so I could start restoring my bags and keep them in a safer place.

And since it's TAMAD day, I went to the mall and did my shopping. I have already forgotten the feeling! First, I bought a multi-purpose cleaner. Wipeout was my first choice but the label only said that it's for cleaning leathers etc... It didn't state whether it would make the item shiny. So from the cheap Wipeout, I ended up getting this WAXCO Multi-purpose SHINE. It says it cleans, protects, and shines all wood, plastics and leather parts. It even has a sponge included. Then, I used it immediately on the Guess bag that I brought with me in the office. Yep! It sure restored the bag to it's glossy appearance and clean texture. I never really thought of caring for bags until this happened.

Devil... a mall SALE is a devil. I passed by Terranova and they're on sale. Usually, the signs do not catch my attention at all since I am not in the best shape to go and buy clothes because of my pregnancy. (shocked? Let me see if I will have time to post another entry entirely about me being pregnant) But their pants and knee length leggings are all garterized and that is a completely amazing thing for me. I bought some pants and blouses too. Mind you, they are cheap! My one thousand pesos already got me three items. Whew! Since all boutiques are on sale, I went to People are People ang got myself a seamless bra too. Afterwards, I texted Mich and told her to come over and stop me from shopping. In three minutes, she was at the store.

We went back to the office. However, not an hour had passed when Jeff asked me if I want to have lunch at Chowking. They have this 199 Eat All You Can promo every Thursdays to Sundays from 11am to 2pm and 6pm to 9pm. I don't think I am in the best position to eat too much because my doctor would kill me if I add weight more than what is required. Thus, I just ordered the regular chowfan meal with add ons. To add, the eat all you can choices were tempting. Fish fillet, soimai, beef stew, pork cutlet, pancit canton, and rice. Wow... for a male appetite, this would be the bomb!

Enough of this. I need to get back to work. Still have to finish editing a deck for US101 and an assessment.

New Found Planet: Orbits Backward

2009-08-13T22:43:00.003+08:00

Last night I was talking about meteors... Tonight when I opened my yahoo mail to check on my emails, this article immediately caught my attention.

Another planet was discovered. But the weird part is, its orbit is opposite to the other planets.

Planets orbit stars in the same direction that the stars rotate. They all do. Except one.

A newfound planet orbits the wrong way, backward compared to the rotation of its host star. Its discoverers think a near-collision may have created the retrograde orbit, as it is called.

The star and its planet, WASP-17, are about 1,000 light-years away. The setup was found by the UK's Wide Area Search for Planets (WASP) project in collaboration with Geneva Observatory. The discovery was announced today but has not yet been published in a journal.

"I would have to say this is one of the strangest planets we know about," said Sara Seager, an astrophysicist at MIT who was not involved in the discovery.

What's going on

A star forms when a cloud of gas and dust collapses. Whatever movement the cloud had becomes intensified as it condenses, determining the rotational direction of the star. How planets form is less certain. They are, however, known to develop out of the leftover, typically disk-shaped mass of gas and dust that swirls around a newborn star, so whatever direction that material is moving, which is the direction of the star's rotation, becomes the direction of the planet's orbit.

WASP-17 likely had a close encounter with a larger planet, and the gravitational interaction acted like a slingshot to put WASP-17 on its odd course, the astronomers figure.

"I think it's extremely exciting. It's fascinating that we can study orbits of planets so far away," Seager told SPACE.com. "There's always theory, but there's nothing like an observation to really prove it."

Cosmic collisions are not uncommon. Earth's moon was made when our planet collided with a Mars-sized object, astronomers think. And earlier this week NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope found evidence of two planets colliding around a distant, young star. Some moons in our solar system are on retrograde orbits, perhaps at least in some cases because they were flying through space alone and then captured; that's thought to be the case with Neptune's large moon Triton.

The find was made by graduate students David Anderson at Keele University and Amaury Triaud of the Geneva Observatory.

Bloated world

WASP-17 is about half the mass of Jupiter but bloated to twice its size. "This planet is only as dense as expanded polystyrene, 70 times less dense than the planet we're standing on," said professor Coel Hellier of Keele University.

The bloated planet can be explained by a highly elliptical orbit, which brings it close to the star and then far away. Like exaggerated tides on Earth, the tidal effects on WASP-17 heat and stretch the planet, the researchers suggest.

The tides are not a daily affair, however. "Instead it's creating a huge amount of friction on the inside of the planet and generating a lot of energy, which might be making the planet big and puffy," Seager said.

WASP-17 is the 17th extrasolar planet found by the WASP project, which monitors hundreds of thousands of stars, watching for small dips in their light when a planet transits in front of them. NASA's Kepler space observatory is using the same technique to search for Earth-like worlds.

Source: space.com

Let's face it. Sooner or later, we would really need to find another planet where humans could survive. The Earth is getting too crowded and we're not keeping it safe anyway. For sure there are organizations that would strive hard to save mother earth. But how many of the population is actually aware of their cause to protect the planet from destruction?

The Perseid Meteor Shower TONIGHT!

2009-08-12T13:55:00.002+08:00

I know we all love to gaze at the stars. Who doesn't? Well, if the sky would be clear tonight, then it's the best time to see hundreds of meteors falling from the sky. It's Perseid time!

So what is Perseid?

The Perseids (pronounced /ˈpɜrsiː.ɨdz/ us dict: pûr′·sē·ĭdz) are a prolific meteor shower associated with the comet Swift-Tuttle. The Perseids are so called because the point they appear to come from, called the radiant, lies in the constellation Perseus.

The annual Perseid meteor shower will hit its peak tonight, August 12, 2009, Wednesday, but cloudy skies may block the view for many Filipino skygazers, the Philippine Atmospheric, Geophysical and Astronomical Services Administration (Pagasa) said yesterday.

The famous Perseid meteor shower will be observed at its peak on the late night of Aug. 12 until dawn of the following day with hundreds of meteors per hour observed under most favorable sky condition. But Pagasa weather forecaster Joel Jesusa said mostly cloudy skies will prevail over most parts of the country today due to the low pressure area off the Visayas.

August is one of the most popular times of the year to observe meteor showers, according to Pagasa.

Occasionally, an exceptional shower may show tens or even hundreds of meteors per minute, but around 50 meteors per hour is more typical. Under most favorable clear sky condition, there may be 60 to 100 meteors per hour.

The Perseid meteor shower radiates out from the constellation Perseus, which is located in the eastern horizon during August. The famous Perseid meteor shower has been observed for about 2,000 years. The term Perseid refers to the star constellation of Perseus.

Meteors in a shower appear to come from one area of the sky, but they melt as soon as they enter the earth’s atmosphere due to extreme heat. (Source:Philstar)

I'm excited. I want to see the meteors tonight. But that would require me to stay up late. Tsk! tsk! Some of the tips for meteor gazing would be:

Get away from artificial light
Find a comfortable place where you can lay down and see the entire sky (the street would not be the best place for this, i don't have to explain why!)
Start the meteor search from 10pm onwards. But the best time would really be at midnight till dawn.

Since we're talking about Perseids, look for the Persues constellation because the meteors will be coming from there.

There! i hope I would be able to stay up till the meteors show. Lastly, I hope the sky is cloud free tonight!

What the Bad Weather brings...

2009-08-06T07:13:00.003+08:00

It's been raining hard. And that isn't a good news. For students, I can definitely say that they would be enjoying this because that would mean no classes. But not for me...nope! PAGASA said there would approximately be three cyclones to hit the Philippines this August alone. That's just quite not right!

Because of the weather, people's immune systems are getting low these days. I still have colds and Mich is out of the office because of severe cough. And since I am alone here at my station, I started to think of a lot of things...

I learned this year...

To eat alone- Before, you will never find me at the pantry eating alone. I used to eat with the entire CEC gang. But now, I would even eat in a restaurant alone.

Buy things by myself- I used to spend my weekends doing things I have forgotten to do the whole week like pay the bills, buy new clothes etc... But now, I have to do all of these during weekdays so I could just rest on weekends.

To save- though the savings isn't that much, at least I get to save.

To draw MAPS- yep... you got it right. Before, it was so easy to get to where I want to go. Now, if I want to go somewhere, I have to learn how to get there! And believe me it isn't that easy for me since I have poor spatial intelligence. I have to draw maps so as not to get lost.

To be a fool- well I know there are a lot of fools out there. Now you can count me in.

To pray wholeheartedly- when I have no one else to talk to, I talk to God and cry. After crying, I'd be fine for some time and I'd get to have my game-face on again. After the game-face, I'm back to crying... that's the cycle.

To STOP- I always wanted a fast paced life. If things are getting slow, I make the complications to force things to speed up. But now, I can no longer force the situation. So I just stop.

there! These are the only stuff I can think of as of this moment. For now I am at "THE STOP". I'll stay here till I find out what I should do. Enough of the driving to "no-where-land". The energy has been dampened. But when I regain the flames again, I'll be back with speed.

See? This weather is really bad. It puts the gloomy feeling on people.
Where's the SUN? We need the sunny day.

My everydays now...

2009-08-03T16:07:00.000+08:00

For months now I have been busy with work and in fixing my almost ruined life. Everyday, it has been a habit of mine to check my best friends, the horoscope sites. Most of my colleagues who used to be my crying shoulders already left the company because of this recession which lead to the acquisition of our most beloved company, DELL. Now, work has been more and more demanding. I have been handling US101 classes every week... and every freaking Saturday I would have to carry the stress of terminating people who can't pass the standards in communication skills for call centers. I hope I won't be dragged to hell for that.

I go to work everyday and I live my life every day not knowing where this would all go. I cant say that I messed up my life because having Megan might be the only blessing I would be receiving this year. As i open different horoscope sites everyday, I try to understand where this life would be taking me. But of course, no one really holds the key to one's fate, not even the astrologers. So I live each day not knowing where to go. Although I have always wanted things to go according to how I plan it, sometimes I just have to let go and stop controlling things.

They say no one gets to move on for the year of the ox. Well that's a one HELL OF A FACT. This year, I realized how I need to find a better paying job and a much better career. Before, I have never saved anything... I spend here and there as if money is easy to come by. Well, it still is. I still have a job and I get my pay every other week. And now, I didnt realize that I am learning to save. But I must be able to find a much better life than what I have now. And if I have to leave the country, which just came to my mind out of the blue, then I am willing to risk it. However, when I leave, I would not be working in the current industry I am in. Since I was born for teaching, then I would go back to where my happiness is, educating people.

Where do I start? I dont know yet. When I see Megan, maybe she would tell me.

Plans... plans... I always start things but never really get to finish them. When impatience strikes, I get bored and change the plan as swiftly as a blink of an eye. People sometimes cant follow me. And of course I cant blame them for that. I wish there was a plan that I could execute beautifully... I wish things would all be so easy as it used to be then.

Me and my friends are now living our lives apart from each other. We rarely get to talk anymore. My family has always been there for me. But I dont want to burden them of my problems. Well, I guess theres no one else to turn to but my diary and God. No one really knows what I am going through except the two.

I may give up one day but there are still other days. I may end up alone in the battle but for sure its not lonely when Megan is with me.

The Musical Superstar

2009-06-28T10:42:00.003+08:00

June 26, 2009

The musical superstar Michael Jackson died in Los Angeles. Fans mourned for the loss of the pop icon. It also came as a surprise for me. Who would ever thought that someone like Michael would die? He was someone you thought would be there forever. And at such a young age of 50, he still could have done a lot of things like, recover from the bad image he recently had been accused of.

Cause of death is still being checked as of today but there is a strong possibility that it was caused by the drug treatments he took.

I found out from a interview that Charice Pempengco was supposed to do a concert with him sometime in July. Sadly, that would not happen anymore. And the worse news of all is that Jackson's promoter is now in big trouble because of the worldwide concert tickets that were sold for MJ's upcoming concerts that will not push through.

Well, every dead man is a good man. Whatever Michael has done in the past, he will still be remembered for the legacy that he left in the music industry. I remember when I was in 4th year highschool, Jose and I did this Michael and Madonna presentation for our English class. I wouldn't forget that because I had to get a wig for Jose and I had to dye my hair blond and wash it afterwards... what a tiresome day that was.

I am not a hardcore MJ fan. I am just one the people who grew up listening and watching him perform at the peak of his career. You do not need to be a fan to know Heal the World, The Way you make me feel, Ben, Thriller, etc... You just happen to wake up everyday with the radio stations playing them. And to be honest, they were really good songs.

I know there are a lot of people paying tribute to Michael Jackson. And I know this video will again be popular in Youtube because Filipinos really creative... even Filipino prisoners. (Pause the music above if you'll be watching the video below)

To Michael Jackson, you still rock! (wherever you are)

2009-06-25T20:57:00.002+08:00

Femme tagged me on her note in her facebook account. To my surprise, I actually liked the note. It says:

Lord, I am ready to commit myself to someone I want to fall in love with.
Could I take him/her now? I have prayed for him/her for quite a time now.

But the Lord answered,

"No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by me alone. You need to give yourself totally unreserved to me because in me your satisfaction is to be found. And when you learn to commit yourself to me alone then, only then is the right time for you to be capable of perfect human relationship that I have planned for you long you thought at it.

You will never be united with another until you are united with me. You will never learn to speak and understand the true language of love until you hear me speak it. You will never learn how it is to love and be loved until you feel the tender touch of my LOVE.

I want you to stop planning. Stop wishing and allow me to step in and give you the most surprising and exciting plan that you can imagine. You are my child. I want you to have the best. Please allow me to bring it to you. Fix your eyes on me and expect the greatest things as you watch.

Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I AM. Learn all the things I tell you and be patient. Just wait.

Don’t be anxious. Do not worry. Don’t look around and feel at the things others may have got. Yours will be different because I LOVE YOU. Don’t look at things you think you want. They may not be the things I want for you. Look up straight at me because you might miss what I want to show you.

And then, when you’re ready. I’ll surprise you with a lover far more wonderful than what you would ever dream of. But I won’t let you have it until you are ready and the one I prepared for you is ready, until you are both satisfied exclusively with me and the LIFE I have prepared for you."

My take on this...

well i have been a very impatient child. i wanted to plan my life. and if things do not go the way i want them to, i rebel and act rashly. i do not know lord if i can be patient anymore. right now, i am lost. it would be very difficult for me to stop planning... i just wish there is something else that i could do.

on internet

2009-06-24T21:15:00.002+08:00

i wonder what happened to me and while all of a sudden, i have forgotten about blogging. the internet used to be my best friend when i couldn't say out loud what i feel. and i've never been afraid of having people find out what goes on in my almost dysfunctional brain.

it is a pain when sometimes, some people do not understand why i write... why other people write... my some people blog. i created this blog last 2005 and ever since, i have been religiously writing the good and bad stuff in my life.

i just wish i would be understood for the things i love to do. i love to take pictures and i love posting them. i love sharing to friends the special events of my life. it's not about me not being private, but it's about me being generous in sharing my moments with the people i know.

i've lessened my updates on most of the sites that i still maintain. no, its not for good. i'm just keeping a low profile for now. soon i will be searching for the inspiration i once had the moment i started my world on the net. i will try my best to be the same gem they once knew. i couldnt say nothing has changed... but i will try to keep the gem whom people love and admire.

i will continue blogging and writing even if if im just talking to myself. this site will be updated. and when i get old, i will be leaving a memory about who i was in this world.

RESCUE ME: My animal's cry

2009-05-09T19:39:00.005+08:00

This is an event that I can't afford not to blog about.

I have always been an animal lover. I discovered that when I was in second year highschool during our Biology class. Our teacher instructed us to conduct an experiment which has something to do with the length of time an animal could survive without oxygen. Other groups were assigned to observe spiders, cockroaches, lizards and to my dismay, my group was assigned to observe a chick. If I remember it correctly, we failed that experiment because I could not take the cries of the chick when we placed her inside a transparent bottle and sealed it. I cried and opened the lid after a few minutes because I could not stand watching the chick die.

So now, the more I could not take what just happened to my dog last Saturday night. I was supposed to make a blog on our Hongkong trip when I heard loud cries from dogs outside. The sound was really disturbing. I went out of my room to locate where the sound was coming from. And to my shock, I heard it coming from our garage. I went down to check what's going on. The lights downstairs were turned off. I went near the window and peeped. Though it was dark, I can make out a man hitting my dog with something (a metal perhaps). And then I could not stop my tears when it finally hit me that my dog was being killed... I ran upstairs because i was so furious. While crying, I confronted the people whom I wish could give me an acceptable explanation as to why it had to happen. My aunt said the dog was not sane anymore. It tried to bite her and my uncle when they gave its food for the last two days. But no matter what explanation I got, I couldn't take the manner in which they had to end my dog's life.

(photo above is not my dog)

I know there is a humane way. Couldn't they have just called a veterinarian to put the dog to sleep?!!! Why is it so easy for them? They hit the dog but it didnt die... (which is the saddest part) so they had to continously hit it till he's no more.

I couldn't do anything. I am mourning till this day. Whenever I think of him, I just end up crying.
Please... there is always a better and a humane way of ending a dog's life.

Time for Kids!

2008-10-02T04:04:00.007+08:00

My current relationship status is undefined. There are some things that I have to rethink and heaven knows i need the time to get my self straight. And while I- and I bet the whole world too- is in the process of finding out what I really want in life, it seemed that the universe has agreed to keep me busy with kids.

Last Saturday, September 27, the company did an outreach in Museong Pambata. No sleep at all, the team went there and drained our left energies till noon. The circles around my eyes were really dark and they were enormous! Why wouldn't they be? I cried buckets of tears the night before.

But of course, life must and should go on. I was thrilled to be in the museum. I don't remember my last trip there, or if I ever did go there when I was in highschool. I can't recall. So, I realized, somehow, what kind of mother would I be. I would be the type who would not let my kid out of my sight! My kid for that day is Felicity. Her name immediately caught my attention that I already claimed her.

Of course, the highlight that day was Jollibee. After his dancing and some group photos, we had our brunch. During the brunch, around 11- we felt two strong earthquakes. It was good that no one panicked or aroused an alarm to the people in the function room. I went home tired with my eyes almsot closed.

And sure thing... the next day, I went to another kid session! It was Lucas' 1st Birthday. JR and Tina, the beautiful parents, decided to celebrate it at Hospicio de San Jose. My job there was easy. I was the face paint artist! At first, I didn't think I could do it. With the number of kids present during the party, I feared that I might not be able to paint an art! But as soon as I started, I had the confidence that my work was far better than Feli's.. hahaha.

Then, there were the mascots, again, from Jollibee. Aside from the big bee, there were Hetty, the Spaghetti girl and Poppo, the french fries guy. Other than the emcee who really pissed me off because of his non adaptive way of hosting, the party was nice! However, I didn't get to bond with any of the kids unlike the way I bonded with Felicity.

Kultura Dancers

2008-09-19T03:44:00.009+08:00

Back to blogging again. Today is the last of my three work free days. Some of the coaches went out to check out what's on Sale at the mall. Today is the first of the 3 day sale in MOA. I decided to stay here at the office for a couple of reasons.

We just got our ICP and that would make me rich that I could buy a lot of stuff which I do not actually need.
I promised someone that I would not spend the money but instead, I would save all of it in the bank. (gosh, I never had anyone tell me what to do with my money, but now...)

I am still thinking if I still have other reasons left as I write this. So far, the list only has two items. Shopping is really a temptation. I want to buy myself this wallet from Mango and a bag. Hay.

Anyway, let's go to office updates. Last Friday, we had Gaurav's send-off party at M1NT bar & resto in The Fort.

That was really a fun night. The emcees were the best-- Jerome and Rey. It was like sitting in a comedy bar. We watched 3 video presentations which made everyone laugh and cry. And of course, our team was assigned to take charge of the games. My manager thought of Wowowee's Pera o Bayong. She said we all have to be the "Kendeng girls". And we took this seriously. We even practiced the steps for two days. But to our dismay, the venue did not allow other music to be played since their sound system is tied to the main dance area. It was a hilarious catastrophe.

Jerome said "Do you need help with the counting?" Afterwards, the entire room counted "one, two, three... one, two, three..."

They called us the "kultura dancers" and "bayanihan gone wrong".

That was a very tiring night!

it's "NOW"

2008-09-19T03:44:00.002+08:00

Isko and I have three "free" days. You read it right... F-R-E-E. We will be joining a project next week so we transitioned all of the technicians that we were handling to the other coaches. And since we're on our second day of being free, I finished whatever tasks I still haven't finished. Blogging came back to my mind because it's been a long time since I posted something here.

There are some major decisions that I have to make in my life right now. They are not easy but these decisions have to be done. All i want is a room for freedom... to think of what I want... to find where I can be happy... No one is perfect- that includes me. I can only take so much. I can only wait for as long as I can bear. Now, I have reached my limitation. I stopped feeling. I grew numb. Call it my fault I wouldn't argue with anyone. But this does not make me weak at all. I just happen to see the effect of people not addressing what their problems are.

I have gone far... far away from you.
I chose you before and no bad mouth can change my perception and my feelings.
But now is different.
It's just different.

Under a New Management!

2008-08-28T17:25:00.001+08:00

It's been awhile since my recent entry.
(it's been awhile daw oh!)

Work related naman!

Since we got under Allian's supervision, so many things have changed- and they changed for the better. We started well. We won 3rd place in L&D's Leadership Comic Strip making contest. We all got ARE (Advance Resolution Experts) Certified. This should have been awarded to us long ago but due to the mismanagement of u-know-who (wala na xa sa DELL!), we were left hanging back then.

And to add to recognitions we got, we have several entries to Winning Culture's Portraits of DELL. You guys probably have seen these pictures hanging on the wall!

So, I guess now i can finally say that it's really nice working at DELL. Maybe you just really need a knowledgeable manager to help you get through whatever!

Another Chapter: the Melina Farewell Lunch Out

2008-07-31T12:49:00.002+08:00

Culmination. Yes, it finally happened. My "former" Manager, Frances has been transferred to another line of business as a Technical Supervisor. It was a lateral move, but of course we have our own theory on why the move had to happen.

I was glad for the decision. I know, and I know that everyone will agree with me, that Frances has her heart for that position even from the beginning. She is meant to be a team leader and not a CEC Manager. But of course I would still like to give her credit for all that she had done for the team, though most of the time she couldn't find the balance on how to discipline us.

And for the last time, (is it really?) she treated some of us for a farewell lunch at Mann Yann in Glorietta. It was nice to see Annie again.

Our new manager has been announced. What can I say? Yesterday's a history and today is the future. We're all excited!

Canyon Cove

2008-07-12T12:46:00.003+08:00

Why did I not think of bringing a swimsuit that day? The place was so beautiful and the scenery was indeed mesmerizing. Well, stupid me. I thought that I needed someone to tell me that I have to bring one.

I spent the entire day wearing this Training & Development shirt which is two sizes larger than what I requested. I wonder if SOMEONE replaced it. *bad grin*

Anyway, it was really a rip off! To shake the blues away, I joined the volley ball game and the human tableau...

After that, it's back to mourning... mourning for looking so fab that day...

My consolation... My DELL ELITE Employee award.

XPS CE Recovery Manila Class

2008-06-28T09:34:00.003+08:00

4 weeks of training with XPS CE Recovery Manila Class ended yesterday. I am happy because I get to know other people. And I am excited when they go back to production because I am sure that they are way ahead now than the others. To be honest, I am proud of the people in our class. Though there were a few misunderstandings in the beginning, they were able to change their views to something positive. For sure they have gained added knowledge and have gained new friends toO. Same here. I enjoyed being in the class making them listen to calls and explaining what made the call good or bad. It was fun!

Bora.. Bora.. Bora...

2008-06-19T12:11:00.014+08:00

Stayed away from the office for three days this June. At first I felt guilty for being on vacation when the rest of the team are pressured with our on going program for CE Recovery. But what can I do? I already bought the tickets months back. I can't just postpone the trip. So as worried as I was, I left Manila on an Asian Spirit plane to Caticlan. I carried a very light duffel bag. Mike even said that my office bag is even heavier than the bag I brought with me to Boracay. Well... he's right. I somehow learned that I have to travel light. I only brought 3 pairs of swimsuits and 3 shorts and 3 shirts.

My last year trip to Boracay was not that good. It was a rainy season and Mike and I got stuck in our room to watch tv programs on the cable. This year, the weather is cooperative. The sun was up and there was no sign of an upcoming storm. We managed to find a cheap room. 1,300 Php, airconditioned, with cable... what else would one be looking for? I realized that a room shouldn't cost that much since we will not be staying there most of the time anyway.

Mang Danny, who was a local there in Boracay assisted us on our adventures. He was really accommodating! He made sure we got the best service ever! (By the way, if you plan to go to Boracay, contact Mang Danny 09212410588. He will give you the best deals... affordable!)

My first adventure was riding the ATV. It wasn't really that difficult. The ride was exciting. The rocky roads were a bit scary because the ATV don't really go to a full stop when it's turned on. So you will crash if you don't control your vehicle well. After the dusty travel, Mang Danny took us to an area in Mt. Luho where we saw different zoo animals. Pictures here and there... then we're off! My muddy feet was the best motivation for me to splash and dive in the beach when we got back to Station 2.

The bruise I got when I hit JP's sala set a few days before my trip was not a very lovely sight to look at. Hehehe.. But since I'm at the beach.. what the heck!

Our second day adventure was totally different from the day before. We woke up early in the morning, had breakfast and texted Mang Danny for our Island hopping. We were referred to Mang Edgar who was the boatman... (is there such a term?)

Although I've seen the caves at Crystal Cove before, they still captivate me.

And as always, the snorkeling was my favorite. Feeding the fishes and seeing a school of them go for the bread, and even your hand, were a very nice experience. Too bad Mike didn't really had the time to feed them on his own.

Last island was at Puca. The isolated island where Aga Mulach and Anne Curtis shot their movie. I bought bracelets and necklaces made of shells and stones. And then, we traveled back.

In the afternoon, we got nice benches where Mike laid to get his tan and rested while reading a Harry Potter book I brought with me.

On the last day, we hit the beach again. The tides were high but the water was calm. The water in Boracay was really clear that I even got three 5 peso coins partly burried on sand.

And then, it was time to go home.

Rant

2008-05-21T04:49:00.003+08:00

Na feel nyo naman siguro yung inis na inis na kayo sa buhay niyo diba? Hindi dahil sa wla kang pera o pangit ang trabaho mo... kungdi dahil sa love life mong hindi mo maidescribe kung masaya o hinde.

Enough of the pretenses... I used to have a relationship I thought I could fight for but now, everything is just mediocre. I used to know what I want. But when you know what you want and you still can't see it, then I mess things up.

I have nothing... *not the song* There is literally nothing good to expect. I am so tired of this. I lost my happiness and I am trying to find it.

My status: "It's so fuc*ing complicated!!!"
I am not kidding. You have no idea.
Why did I change? We both know why.

I am impatient... I am selfish... You are unaware... You are insensitive

Lago de Oro... wiheeee

2008-05-21T01:08:00.006+08:00

Ouch! Still can feel the muscle pains. But I am glad that we finally had our summer getaway. We were planning since march and for no luck, nothing happened. This time, Butch did the planning and the same-available people joined.

It was a fun day. The weather was not hot but that's okay. I do not want to spend money for sunblock.

Wakeboarding is fun. You're only problem would be going back to the shed where the mini cart will take you back to the start point when you fall during the ski. You literally have to walk on slimy algae and that's yuck.

I had fun... literally calorie burning! Although none of us were able to stand on the board long enough, the experience was very well worth the money I gave.

I LOVE THAT DAY. I REALLY DO. HOW I WISH IT COULD ALWAYS BE THAT DAY.

What's IN: Charise Pempengco

2008-05-15T11:44:00.005+08:00

So here is the most popular email attachment in the office, Charise Pempengco's performance in Ophrah. She really makes her fellow Filipinos proud.

One of my favorite entries

2008-05-15T11:11:00.003+08:00

Oh I remember this blog entry well... how could I forget?

A TEACHER BECOMES A VICTIM
click above

My Widget says the weather today is mostly cloudy... YahOoO!!! I can't wait to go to Lago de Oro this Saturday. It's time to have some r-e-a-l f-u-n!

at last... a relaxing day

2008-05-15T02:17:00.004+08:00

I'm finally back to blogging. This is the only day that i remember wherein my tasks were finished way way early before my shift ends. Aside from this, the office server was down so we have unlimited access to friendster and multiply. wow! It's a relaxing day.

Anyway, office updates. codename Jao Mapa... you're one sick person! Stop buzzing around people's lives. You meddled with my life before. You think I didn't know? If you have nothing to do, make a tsismis of your boring life and spread it in the office. Stop looking at me and the people I talk to. Ilang minuto palang ako nawawala nakatsismis ka na kung sino kasama ko. You're sick. And stop being the office GUARD looking at people's monitors and spying on whatever they are doing or whoever it is that they are chatting. Mind your own business. Duh!

Well, Jao is not on the top of my priorities these days. My complicated life, which I complicate by the way, is getting more and more complicated. The game I thought I can handle gets tougher and soon I will be forced to decide and take a path where I will never be able to change once I choose it. I sometimes answer my own questions but still I do not know what to do. Or maybe, I am just afraid to make a choice because people will get hurt in the end. Am I bad? Am I to be blamed? Partly yes. I am about to make a major decision in my life. If I decide incorrectly, I will strive hard to live up to my decision. My situation is easy, as mentioned by the people who are aware of what's happening, but it's certainly not for me. Lessons being learned in this: my impulsiveness gets me into trouble, not talking about serious stuff shakes a relationship real hard, and the rest... I am still figuring out. Whoever will be hurt in the decision I will be making soon, please know that I am sorry for the pain. I have my reasons. And in this world, we all long to be loved and to be happy. And sometimes, we hurt others in search for these.

I fall under a Rowan Tree

2008-05-14T04:19:00.004+08:00

Find your birthday and then find your tree. This is cool and pretty accurate. Send it to your friends, including the one that sent it to you, so they can find out what tree you fell from, but do not forget to change the subject line to your tree. Find you r tr ee below and see what you are like ..

Dec 23 to Jan 01 - Apple Tree

Jan 01 to Jan 11 - Fir Tree

Jan 12 to Jan 24 - Elm Tree

Jan 25 to Feb 03 - Cypress Tree

Feb 04 to Feb 08 - Poplar Tree

Feb 09 to Feb 18 - Cedar Tree

Feb 19 to Feb 28 - Pine Tree

Mar 01 to Mar 10 - Weeping Willow Tree

Mar 11 to Mar 20 - Lime Tree

Mar 21 (only) - Oak Tree

Mar 22 to Mar 31 - Hazelnut Tree

Apr 01 to Apr 10 - Rowan Tree

Apr 11 to Apr 20 - Maple Tree

Apr 21 to Apr 30 - Walnut Tree

May 01 to May 14 - Poplar Tree

May 15 to May 24 - Chestnut Tree

May 25 to Jun 03 - Ash Tree

Jun 04 to Jun 13 - Hornbeam Tree

Jun 14 to Jun 23 - Fig Tree

Jun 24 (only) - Birch Tree

Jun 25 to Jul 04 - Apple Tree

Jul 05 to Jul 14 - Fir Tree

Jul 15 to Jul 25 - Elm Tree

Jul 26 to Aug 04 - Cypress Tree

Aug 05 to Aug 13 - Poplar Tree

Aug 14 to Aug 23 - Cedar Tree

Aug 24 to Sep 01 - Pine Tree

Sep 02 to Sep 12 - Weeping Willow Tree

Sep 13 to Sep 22 - Lime Tree

Sep 23 (only) - Olive Tree

Sep 24 to Oct 03 - Hazelnut Tree

Oct 04 to Oct 13 - Rowan Tree

Oct 14 to Oct 23 - Maple Tree

Oct 24 to Nov 11 - Walnut Tree

Nov 12 to Nov 21 - Chestnut Tree

Nov 22 to Dec 01 - Ash Tree

Dec 02 to Dec 11 - Hornbeam Tree

Dec 12 to Dec 21 - Fig Tree

Dec 22 (only) - Beech Tree

TREES (in alphabetical order)

Apple Tree (Love) -- quiet and shy at times, lots of charm, appeal, And attraction, pleasant attitude, flirtatious smile, adventurous, sensitive, loyal in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, many talents, loves children, needs affectionate partner.

Ash Tree (Ambition) -- extremely attractive, vivacious, impulsive, demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with fate, can be very egotistic, reliable, restless lover, sometimes money rules over the heart, demands attention, needs love and much emotional support.

Beech Tree (Creative) -- has good taste, concerned about its looks, materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical, good leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.).

Birch Tree (Inspiration) -- vivacious, attractive, elegant, friendly, unpretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate, full of imagination, little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere.

Cedar Tree (Confidence ) -- of rare strength, knows how to adapt, Likes unexpected presents, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down on others, self-confident, a great speaker, determined, often impatient, likes to impress others, has many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waits for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.

Chestnut Tree (Honesty) -- of unusual stature, impressive, well-developed sense of justice, fun to be around, a planner, born diplomat, can be irritated easily, sensitive of others feelings, hard worker, sometimes acts superior, feels not understood at times, fiercely family oriented, very loyal in love, physically fit.

Cypress Tree (Faithfulness) -- strong, muscular, adaptable, takes What life has to give but doesn't necessarily like it, strives to be content, optimistic, wants to be financially in dependent, wants love and affection, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered at times, can be unruly and careless, loves to gain knowledge, needs to be needed.

Elm Tree (Noble-mindedness ) -- pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, m odest demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but n ot to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.

Fig Tree (Sensibility ) -- very strong minded, a bit self-willed, honest, loyal, independent, hates contradiction or arguments, hard worker when wants to be, loves life and friends, enjoys children and animals, sexually oriented, great sense of humor, has artistic talent and great intelligence.

Fir tree (Mysterious ) -- extraordinary taste, handles stress well, loves anything beautiful, stubborn, tends to care for those close to them, hard to trust others, yet a social butterfly, likes idleness and laziness after long demanding hours at work, rather modest, talented, unselfish, many friends, very reliable.

Hazelnut Tree (Extraordinary ) -- charming, sense of humor, very demanding but can also be very understanding, knows how to make a lasting impression, active fighter for social causes and politics, popular, quite moody, sexually oriented, honest, a perfectionist, has a precise sense of judgment and expects complete fairness.

Hornbeam Tree (Good Taste) -- of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.

Lime Tree (Doubt) - intelligent, hard working, accepts what life dishes out, but not before trying to change bad circumstances into good ones, hates fighting and stress, enjoys getaway vacations, may appear tough, but is actually soft and relenting, always willing to make sacrifices for family and friends, has many talents but not always enough time to use them, great leadership qualities, is jealous at times but extremely loyal.

Maple Tree (Independence of Mind ) -- no ordinary person, full of imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.

Oak Tree (Brave) -- robust nature, courageous, strong, unrelenting, independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the ground, person of action.

Olive Tree (Wisdom) -- loves sun, warmth and kind feelings, reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful, calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive, empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read and the company of sophisticated people.

Pine Tree (Peacemaker) -- loves agreeable company, craves peace and harmony, loves to help others, active imagination, likes to write poetry, not fashion conscious, great compassion, friendly to all, falls strongly in love but will leave if betrayed or lied to, emotionally soft, low self-esteem, needs affection and reassurance.

Poplar Tree (Uncertainty) -- looks very decorative, talented, not very self-confident, extremely courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, great artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.

Rowan Tree (Sensitivity) -- full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, un rest, and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.

Walnut Tree (Passion) -- unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.

Weeping Willow (Melancholy) -- likes to be stress free, loves family life, full of hopes and dreams, attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful, musically inclined, loves to travel to exotic places, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with when pressured, sometimes demanding, good intuition, suffers in love until they find the loyal one, steadfast partner, loves to make others laugh.

i hate farewells

2008-05-06T06:20:00.001+08:00

and i am pretty sure that i am not the only one.

but if it's inevitable, who are we to question? who are we to decide?
it will be sad... it will surely be...
friends feel for each other, friends share emotions
and mich and i feel almost the same way
we do..

it's time to say goodbye but i hope its always for the best.

Demver's Christening

2008-05-05T15:30:00.004+08:00

Yes... you read it right. It's DEMVER de Olazo. It's not a typographical error. It's really DEMVER with an "M". Don't ask me why it's spelled that way. I was not around when he was born. And I don't think I have the right to question whether his mother mispronounced it or it's really her decision to spell it with an "m".

Alright. Enough about the name. After 22 years, we now have an addition to our generation (as cousins, i mean).

Baptism was held at Guadalupe church. 05-04-08.

rebellion

2008-05-02T06:26:00.003+08:00

There were a number of days when i wanted to update this blog but somehow, work got in the way. Since it's labor day, I took the luxury of not going to work because we are not required anyway.

My past months have been tough and I know the months ahead will be tougher. I used to know what I want, I used to focus myself on one thing and that one thing is everything to me. Now I am at the stage where I don't know what to do. And I know that because of this, I will hurt people in the end. I was crazy enough to break up the relationship I tried so hard to build for 2 years. Why? Maybe being stagnant is not healthy for me. I got to think of so many things and I got bored.

I was listening to the radio station the other day. Their topic was about "cool off". So what does it really mean? Among all the answers given, I liked the definition that cool off is the time to reassess the situation, feelings and see if you would still go on or just stop because the relationship is not going anywhere. Maybe that's the best statement to describe my situation right now.

I am not done with my rebellious acts. Lately, I have realized how adventurous I could be. I don't know if this is good or bad.

When life gets boring, I make the complications!

VOTE for JOSEPH's COLGATE VIDEO ENTRY JAMERS!!!

2008-05-01T18:36:00.001+08:00

Thanks to Ria, I was able to watch Joseph's Video Entry for the Colgate Contest. Joseph has always been a good actor and student. I got to work with him during my extended help for St. James Academy's "West Side Story". It was really nice watching the video he sent for the contest.

I am telling you... it's well made! He's worth your vote.

So calling all JAMERS (and non jamers too), Vote for Joseph!

JOSEPH's Colgate Video Entry

the test in the woods

2008-04-22T11:23:00.003+08:00

Nakakapagod...

Parang wala namang kapupuntahan lahat ng toh...

Sana pwedeng matapos lahat ng walang masasaktan...

Sana di ko na kelangan magsalita ng masama ang loob ko.

Sana lahat ng tao pare pareho ng isip

Sana naiintindihan niya kung ano ang kelangan ko.

Napapagod na ko.

Idol ni Butch

2008-03-30T03:08:00.002+08:00

Dahil patay na patay si Butch kay Paolo Santos, ayun... nakarating kame sa Starz. Sabi niya ipikit ang mga mata at damdamin ang kanta. Tama nga! Maganda talaga ang boses niya! Para lang kaming nakinig sa recording... swabeh!

Gamble

2008-03-27T03:31:00.004+08:00

This is the funniest line today at the dinner table:

I will quote Jassen...
"Matindi na nga ang kompetisyon, si ***** nagdadalawa pa!"

At dahil dito... tumawa ang mga bading! Pati kami narin!

when is a "he" ready for marriage?

2008-03-12T07:46:00.006+08:00

I was early for my shift that day. There's nothing new to that because people who know me can attest to my punctuality. One of the process directors saw me. I waved to say hi. He dropped by and asked me how's life. I said it's okay. Then he asked me how's love life. Tsk! tsk! tsk! Why do they always ask me this question? I said "still the same."

And then he transformed from being my boss to a love doctor who gave me the dose of reality.

There are only two reasons why a man would not talk about marriage:

ONE: He is not emotionally ready.

He is still unsure if you're the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

TWO: He is not ready financially.

He might be ready emotionally but he doesn't have the money.

His brother in law graduated from college late. Thus, they guy started working and earning money late. He met his girlfriend. After two years, he decided he wanted to marry the girl. Though he is not ready financially, they talked about how they would be able to save the money for their wedding. Every Christmas, they would do business. Till now, they are saving for that day when they would finally get the chance to say "I do."

He said he had a long time girlfriend before. But at that time, his family needed financial assistance and he thought he won't be able to marry or be financially stable till the age of 30. Thinking of the girl, he thought it would be unfair for the girl to wait till they are both 30 and try to have kids by that time. It would already be too late for the girl. He was honest. Though he loved her, he was not ready. He broke up with her.

He had another girlfriend. At that time the girlfriend wanted them to get married. But since he STILL was not ready, he told her. They eventually parted ways.

The day when he met his wife came. At that time, he was more than ready to support a family. So there isn't any reason for him not to ask her hand for marriage. He said I can say that his wife is kinda lucky- if you can look at it that way- because she came at the right time when he wanted and when he was ready to get married.

So to cut his stories short, he told me that you can't force a man to be ready for marriage. He knows when he is ready. And when he is ready, he can marry any girl who happens to be there with him.

When a man is ready for marriage, though he has no money, he will tell it to you and he will make plans. He will include you in his plans. You will be given a time frame... whether that's within 3 years.. or 5 perhaps... you will know. But if there's none, maybe you just happen to be at the wrong time. And again, you can't force him.

It's up to the person to accept that she happens to be at the wrong time and forget everything and move on or to be unfair to herself and wait till time eventually pass her by.

The wise man told me what I cannot comprehend. And he was honest enough to make me realize things. Hopefully I will be able to see where I should stand. And I am just grateful for the knowledge he shared to me. Now I know what to do.

questions

2008-03-09T10:03:00.003+08:00

It is really vague when you say "communicate". Of course you take into consideration if you're being understood or not. Let's just say that I want us to communicate. And my idea of communicating is not just letting me know what happened to you that day- that's informing. I want to be able to talk about feelings on any given day. It sucks when you only talk about it when you're angry right?

So people better get used to me asking "out-of-the-blue" questions. Actually, it's not new to me. I ask that to friends and we talk about that sort of stuff too. It might be my mistake for bringing this kind of me just now. But things have gotta change.

boredom masterpiece

2008-03-03T15:00:00.002+08:00

I am so bored to death!!!!

And here's my new masterpiece. Thank you for my boredom, I was able to do something different...

Long Weekend

2008-03-03T11:10:00.004+08:00

I have a long weekend before I start my XPS training this Tuesday. I am spending it by owning my time and taking my biggest break from the city stress. Last Saturday, I stayed home and didn't go to Grrenbelt where my friends were waiting for me. I watched "The comebacks" and "Alvin and the Chipmunks." Last night, I attended the burial of Feli's dad. Afterwards, Mike and I ate at Mexicali... paid some bills... ate ice cream then went home. Today, I have spent the morning listening to Richard Poon's album, editing pictures, blogging... and later, I will be finishing Season 2 of Prison Break.

I like being at home. No expenses. At the same time, the bed is always ready whenever I feel sleepy. I can eat whenever I want to eat. I can isolate myself when I just want to finish reading Good Omens.

Speaking of eating... Last week, Mike and I went to the new Robinson's Midtown. And finally, I get to eat my favorite Cerealicious. I am not a cereal addict, but I am a chocolate addict. You can create your own Cerealicious...

1. Step One: Start with Cereals

(Regular P30, Special P40, Premium P 50)

2. Step Two: Add Milk

(Add Milk P25, Low-fat Milk P 27, Special Milkshakes P40)

3. Step Three: Add Toppings

(Regular P 7, Special P 15, Premium P 20)

4. Step Four: Add Extra OoOOhhs!

(Ice cream P 10)

If you're not that adventurous yet to mix cereals and toppings, you can choose from their CEREAL BLOCKBUSTER (which I find very cute). The names of their cereals are funny!!!

Here are some examples: Nerd of the rings, Charlie and the choconut factory, My Best Friend's Pudding, Banana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Jumango, Oreo and Juliet, Harry Butter and the Finger of Azkaban, Pirates of the Cadburry-ean and a lot more.

My Blockbuster choice

Their Big Bowl (Blockbuster) ranges from P75 to P85 while their Small Bow (Trailer) is from P43 to P48. Affordable right?!!!

I love it. Anyway, morning is over. I have to conclude this blog entry because it's time for Prison Break! hehehe... I will make use of my time wisely!

I've Got a CRUSH on YOU (night with Richard Poon)

2008-03-01T08:51:00.004+08:00

Things have been going well ever since we transferred stations. The country manager announced to us this week that the team will officially be under Guarav. I didn't care what the others might think so I clapped to my heart's content. It's about time someone with a vision for the team manages us.

For a year, we've never really focused on what we were supposed to do... what I was hired to do... Production has developed a habit of asking help from CEC. The requests were really beyond our scope. We made videos, we handles extra curricular clubs, we developed tools for data, we became the POCs for winning culture activities and a lot more. They asked help not because we weren't doing anything but because WE ARE THE ONLY ONES CAPABLE of doing what they need. And because our superior/s didn't decline any of these, we ended up doing everything! And what do we get out of these? We got to be called "white elephants!" Maybe we are white elephants... The company pays us more because we can do more than what you guys can. I wonder where is the person who called us "white elephant". He might have been thrown to Libis or might be transferred to another LOB... tsk! tsk! tsk! And where are the white elephants? We're still highly paid for doing what you can't!

Speaking of being highly paid... We celebrated Isko's birthday at Bagaberde last February 28, 2008. We were supposed to watch Nina perform but for some unknown reason, the performer changed. We decided to push through with the plan. I never knew I would find my new crush in Bagaberde. Richard Poon (former U-turn member), serenaded the crowd that night. I thought I wouldn't enjoy the night, considering our frustration for not being able to watch Nina. But the moment he sang, we were glued to him till the end.

Richard sings the classics from Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole. Some of the songs he sung were "I've got a crush on you", "Moon River", "My Kind of Girl", "Someone who'll watch over me", "When I fall in love", "It had to be You", "The way you look tonight" and a lot more. He looked like a shy Chinito from afar but the moment he sang on stage, he totally transformed to this romantic guy whom every ladies loved. How can you not admire a guy who sings the classics? He is different, yes! Can I add charming to my description?

And since he was requested to sing some pop songs, he did it his own style! He's my own American Idol.. hehehe... Here's a sample of him singing Beautiful girl, Irreplaceable, and Umbrella. (SOund quality is not good since I only used my celphone)

It was indeed a lucky night for me. And since dreaming is absolutely free, I told myself I'd marry at once the guy who would sing to me the way he did. How could you say no to someone as sweet as him?

birthday boi Isko wearing green

Us with Richard Poon

Anyway, Richard Poon performs at Bagaberde every Thursday. Or to be sure, you can check clickthecity for his updated gigs. If you want to find out more about him, you can check this link:
RICHARD POON

By the way, he has an album. And I will be buying it!

Gemmisms

2008-02-21T09:29:00.003+08:00

Gemmisms...

"Para kang pakong naka usli.. kelangan ka pang pukpukin!"

Gem: "Ang career path mo stagnant."
Yamong: "Stagnant... parang kanal?"
Gem: "Oo, kanal ka! kanal ka!"

Hay. I can't take these metaphors off my mind. How do you motivate someone to pursue their goal when they have no intention.. or let's just say, they do not think of it as something important in the present.

I almost cried proving my point. I realize it's difficult to talk make a person picture what you want him to see when he sees another picture in his mind.

Basta. Panalo yung mga binitawan kong metaphors. Kahit ako natatawa na nasabi ko pala yun. Gosh!

i had a bad day

2008-02-14T06:51:00.001+08:00

Office life is sad without MULTIPLY. I have to find other things to make my dull time productive. That would be really difficult considering I can only browse limitedly in my new station. Why? it's simply because my station can be seen by almost everyone walking in the aisle on their way out. So here, I am stuck reading articles on Intonation and Tone. Later, I am planning to browse some articles and practice my grammar skills. They cancelled my 1 am meeting so I am left to plan what I want to do with my whole day. Sh*t. This is killing me.

All right, maybe I am a white elephant. I am being paid on some days when I do practically nothing. But hey... I work when we have to work. Don't take it against us. Blame the people who give us direction and who manage us.

what's with this day? oh i know... it's valentines. how ironic.

let me point out how stressful this day is. People are not cooperating when you've already talked about what they were supposed to say, but in the end they didn't. People are suddenly insensitive. And I figuratively broke a chain that I did not intend to break. On the facade, I can't thank enough the dental floss which saved the day. Mich is the savior.

Here I am again talking non-sense. This is probably because I haven't eaten much for the day except a pack of taquitos and 2 small bars of Kitkat. I wanted to eat but I wasn't able to. if you ask me why, i am decided not to tell.

the shift ended with the team deciding to particpate on the company's valentine theme... Prom. when i get home, i have to search my cabinet and look for dresses. I have to bring Mich one too.

I hope something good happens today. Cross my fingers. I am running out of energy.

Later. I still have to go "catch me if you can" with the traffic enforcer.

Addiction

2008-02-13T08:52:00.000+08:00

9:20 am... I told myself last 8 am that I will be sleeping by 9 but here am I still browsing the internet and lost at the next interesting thing to look at. How many days have I been like this? Recently, I have been sleeping late because the moment I turn on the computer, I find myself getting glued to it. I would often say, this should be over by 10, by 11, until it's already NoOn!

This addiction is really getting worse. I have to get enough rest or I'll be damned! The doctor from our clinic said the other day that my hemoglobin is low. That makes me anemic. Although it's not really much to worry as of the moment, I still should be serious about my health. We only get to live life once right?

And since we just transferred to our new bay, I hope everything will be right when it comes to the career direction of our team. It's about time we expect something new!

favorite part of MY wedding

2008-02-11T04:02:00.001+08:00

(Since my entry is related to weddings, why don't we put some background music while reading this blog. Here's Pachelbel... one of my favorites. Click Play and Listen)

Love stories are okay to watch if you're in love, if you want to be in love, or simply just when you're in a good mood. Sometimes, watching a good love story when you're not happy only makes you feel sadder. A friend told me that when she watched Katherine Heigl's 27 Dresses, she felt good and wanted to get married. Because of this very same comment, I avoided watching this movie. However, I had no other choice but to watch it yesterday since the rest of the movies were the Japanese horror movies rip off.

I knew my partner was not really interested in watching the chic flick. We just did to kill time. I even caught him sleeping at some parts of the movie. But don't get me wrong, the movie was not bad. Maybe I was just not in the mood to watch something like that. Currently, I am off the track in my love story's roller coaster ride. I don't really know where I am. I won't blame anyone because maybe there really isn't anyone to blame,or maybe I could blame TIME, or cupid perhaps. That would be very timely since it's nearing Valentine's right?! But I don't have an answer, honestly.

I remember a part in the movie where Jane and Kevin accidentally found out that they have the same favorite part when it comes to weddings. During the bride procession when everyone starts to look at bride, they both want to look at the face of the groom because you will see how in love he really is. Well, I have my own wedding dream and I have my own favorite part of weddings too. I take the wedding vows seriously. I want a groom who would not care if he cries just to show how much he loves me. Yes it may sound corny, you may even think that crying is queer, very unmanly... but nothing is queer when you are in love. You wouldn't be shy to put what you feel in writing and read it for the whole world to know. You say what you feel and you don't care what others think. That would be the perfect time when I want to marry. I want to marry when I am SO in love, when I would see myself excited to spend the rest of my days with the one who wouldn't be ashamed to confess how much he loves me. That is my wedding dream. I actually haven't thought of where my wedding would be held because it doesn't really matter for me. It could be held anywhere for all i care. What matters to me is what I feel and what my groom would feel on that special day.

So there... I ended up feeling sad after watching the movie because it made me look at myself and... It's just really sad. I totally lost it... or maybe I never really had it. I haven't found it.

Valentines is near. It will be just like an ordinary day for me. I don't want to wear red (not because it's cliche) but because I don't feel like wearing one. Colors signify how you feel... and I just don't feel like wearing red.

On Valentines, I'd rather drink beer, write my thoughts, and let out a deep sigh.

Farewell to the four of them

2008-02-07T22:34:00.000+08:00

Everyone knows that the United States is undergoing recession. Months back, I think I questioned what will happen to the call center industry in the country because of this. There were some possible effects that I thought of, but I only felt the impact yesterday. Due to business needs the team had to lose four of our dear friends. It came as a shock to everyone. We were all surprised to know that they can no longer enter the company premises after their serious talk- complete with documentation- with HRG.

I am not questioning the decision. It was explained to us clearly why it had to happen. We all understood. We were just sad because it was so fast. So, that night, we had our last dinner as a complete team in the company. There were tears of course. I could go on and on writing about what I will miss about Anne, Tonee, Joel and most specially, Karl but that would already be suicide knowing that we're all grieving right now.

Anyway, I just can't understand why Jepz would have to stress on the reason why the four were the ones the company had to let go amongst us. What's the point buster?!! Are you insinuating something? Oh yeah... you are. You even brought up the question to the country manager and even dared to tell the answer to the four involved. And what's your reason for asking??? Because you noticed that most of the people were INTERNALS!!!! Bullshit. What kind of thinking is that? You're still not over that INTERNAL VS EXTERNAL thing aren't you? You even mentioned that if there would be another lay off, you'd be next... Would your justification be because you're internally hired? You're funny. You're really damn funny... Sarcastically speaking. This is not about you guys and us... It's not about whether you worked here longer than most of us. It's about PERFORMING what you are expected to do. I am not saying that the four did not do their job well... I honestly think they did. So will you stop thinking nonsense. If you're thinking that the decision might have been incorrect, maybe you could volunteer yourself.

I am not angry with him. I am pissed off with his way of thinking. That's all.

We're all affected because we are a team. If you don't think of us as one group, if you still divide us as externally and internally hired, then maybe you're not just part of the group. For once... GROW UP!

My Supposedly Lucky Day

2008-02-06T09:32:00.000+08:00

It's the sixth of February. My monthly horoscope said that this is supposed to be an extremely special day because of the solar eclipse (that of course we would not even notice). I was really anticipating whatever good fortune that is. However, the fortune teller might have read my stars incorrectly. I didn't feel good, I felt irritated and worried.

Sometimes, men can be so insensitive. I bet that would say it all. =(

But hey, the day hasn't ended yet. I still have half of my so called LUCKY day to see what the HEAVEN has for me.

Anyway, we have a new dog. And since we like ruining the names of our pets, like my other dog whom I named "PUPPY" but we call him Chu-Papee, this cross-breed Japanese and German Sheperd was named "HAJI" or "CHUPIPOT!"

Impulsive Beach Get Away

2008-01-31T04:38:00.001+08:00

I've proven myself to be an Arian. Stubborn. But how can you not be stubborn when you've set your mind into going to the beach for the weekend? Then, the rest of the people will back-out because no one bothered to make a reservation ahead of time. I've already packed my things and brought them with me to the office. I can't go home with a frown in my face dreaming of the sun and the sand...

So I have decided to pursue my trip to the beach. Instead of La Luz... (where we didn't make any reservation and was fully booked on those days) Mike and I went to Puerto just to satisfy my addiction.

I had my henna tattoo which almost got erased because I didn't wait for 2 freaking hours before taking a dip in the sea. After our sunbathing, we got our massage courtesy of Aling Leona which caused my fever that night. Lack of sleep + energetic day at the beach + night massage= Fever due to stress... hahaha.. We missed Mindoro Sling.

Joaqui's Birthday

2008-01-22T06:16:00.000+08:00

We attended Joaquin's birthday and dedication at Emerald Mansion. The place could have been utilized well if only it hadn't rained. The swimming area where we stayed was of course open. When it rained, we had to squeeze ourselves in a small area so that we don't get wet. The celebration was of course for Joaqui... there were clowns and games for the kids.
For the adults, we had our Fundador with us.

Then... the Sunday group decided to have their drinking session at Balsa.. again! Meet the Sunday Barkada...

*Butch*JM*Gem*Kaye*

We killed ourselves with our laughter! Our famous lines that night were:

Kay Pangit Pangit!
French Kiss o Smack?
Absoulte ba?
May mga bagay na di napapagbago ng panahon

Of couse... last week's famous lines were very much used as well... "assuming ka!" and "dependencies!"

Our motto... if you didn't make it to Balsa, you will never find out what we talked about. In short, you're forever left out! And since we were so nuts that night, it's obvious we had fun!

January Events keep getting better

2008-01-17T22:59:00.001+08:00

where do i start? it seems that i have neglected by blogging life "here". why? because i am keeping another exclusive blog out there which can only be read by the people i chose. For the month of January... I attended 2 baptisms and there's another one this coming Sunday. People at my age are really into the "family" mode. Of course my sister gave her unico hijo his Catholic Baptism.
And after a week, JR and Tina gave their son Lucas his baptism. Reception was held at G Hotel.

Tinay & Baby Tsup Tsup!

Don't we three look alike?

All White Dress Code for Baby Lucas

And I have made a few milestones in my lovelife this year. I tried to be open on some matters that I consider as serious. It's pretty tough to say that things are not working well. But it's better to talk about the reality than live in lies. We will work it out. I just hope he gets it that there is really something wrong. If he doesn't... then I have to write a long letter explaining everything. For the other milestones... it's for me to know!

Mike and I watched "I am Legend" in Greenbelt last Saturday. I liked how they developed the story... but the ending... oh man!!! I will quote Mike...

"para lang kanta ng Parokya 'Di ko alam kung paano tatapusin ang kanta. Kaya ganito nalang bigla nalang mawawala!'"

And of course.. I wouldn't miss to greet Yan a Happy Birthday!!!

Nakakabakla ka PARE!!!!

eto pala ang gift ko sau... ur car key and my durtee finger!

Happy 2008

2008-01-05T13:45:00.001+08:00

Happy New Year!!!

Yes I have been away from blogging for a month. I did that on purpose! There were so many things going on in my life that I decided I'd rather keep to myself for the time being.

I spent my Christmas and New Year with my family. My mom arrived from HK to celebrate the holidays with us. And of course, what could be more exciting than to celebrate the holidays with our newest addition to the family, Jham Clyde Saparita.

I also had a fun time with my CEC team. Although we rarely get the chance to see each other, we managed to have our Kris Kringle.

these are some of the gifts on our Kris Kringle Box

our gifts when we got them!

Whew! What a way to start the year. I made a new year's resolution like everyone else. But I'd rather not say it yet till I am sure that I can fix the mess I made last 2007. I started the year drinking booze and I think I need more!!!

Karl & I on our serious bonding session

And of course, there are some things we had to say goodbye to as this 2008 begins. Adios Chef Albert! It has been a wonderful and exciting 2007 with you guys. I will miss the food I used to eat and the cashiers that were kind to me!

Ate JO... the wackiest cashier of Chef Albert!

Well... I still have a battle to finish this January. When I get over this, I will rejoice.

Happy 2008 to us ALL!!! I mean it... and I will definitely have one by HooK or by CrOOk!

Misty Dream

2007-11-23T10:49:00.001+08:00

i've always feared many things. i fear not having a baby, i fear being alone, i fear poverty, i fear risking everything and ending up with nothing. what do you do when you know that one of your fears is manifesting...

i know myself more than anyone. there are things that i know i am capable of doing. but since these behaviors might not lead to a very satisfactory result, i suppressed them for a long time. these past days, i am losing control. i am losing my defenses. i was brought back to reality. the dream that i built is now shaken. is it really the dream i should be pursuing or am i destined for another dream? should i give up the dream i have now in exchange for a dream that i will still have to start... a dream where the path is still unclear.

i stare at the faces. it's really difficult. left or right? wrong or right? what is right anyway? when is someone right and when is an action considered wrong? where do i go now? where do we all go?

i've enjoyed a few laughs. but the question of until when will i be enjoying it is so out of my mind right now.

yes, i know i am capable of doing what i am doing now. believe me, it scares me toO.

extra terrestrial...

2007-11-16T16:23:00.001+08:00

i didn't expect to see Christ today. We talked for a short time and he told me that he resigned. So that's why he's not bugging me anymore for these past weeks huh. Well... good for him! He won't see me anymore and he can try his very best to be faithful to his girlfriend (cross my fingers). Another one gone... but how come there's more left for me to handle and manage?

i applied in this company with hesitation. My background was more on communication and i had no knowledge with technical stuff. Or should I say "the real technical stuff" and not the trial and error i used to do with my computer. I remember signing a contract to work and not to have boys check me out and ruin my peace of mind. Maybe that was part of being in a world dominated by men.

Since I feel like I am floating as of this moment, let me entertain myself by enumerating my extra terrestrial contact with men other than the one I knew by heart.

DAN
the first person i blinded. he asked help from my colleagues to get to know me. he used to send me roses and smileys on IM everytime I logged in. Due to this very reason, I had to log in and immediately change my status to "away" so i can pretend that I was not around to reply. This behavior went on for a couple of weeks until he finally realized I was avoiding him. He finally gave up and said he understood me and that he won't bother me anymore. He did these eventhough he knew I was committed.
BARRY

His category is different. The only contact we had was me asking him where the bay of the agent I was looking for was. He took me to the bay. I thanked him. I told my former manager that he helped me. Knowing my naughty ex-manager, he said I had to at least say thanks. I told him I already did. He said I was just making excuses. Then he started to tease me. He said we looked good together... which of course was heard by the team. For months, they teased me to Barry. It eventually died because it was really nothing to begin with.

RICHARD

He was weird man! I was monitoring when I realized there was a man standing at the side of my station. I asked him if I could help him. Then he started asking me about my work. I wasn't able to get back on my monitoring because he didn't leave my station. He stood there. I would place my headset back only to remove it again because he started talking and I felt obliged to listen. He asked if he can add me in IM. And since I never replied to him in IM, he's history!

LARRY

One of my agents. By this time, I thought I'd rather make friends to my admirers to tell them politely that I was not interested in them. Larry was confident. He wanted to court me even if he had a girlfriend. He usually brought me coffee, water, etc... He was consistent. And I was consistent to in telling him that I could only offer friendship and nothing else. One day, he told me he broke up with his girlfriend. I hope I was not the reason. He took another apartment. He didn't get reguralized. After that... adios amigo! He is still texting me. But in the long run, he has to realize that there is no other way but to let it go. He's waiting will just go to waste.

CHRIST

The most boastful of them all!!! One of my agents too. He was the carefree type. He offered to take me to the taxi bay. He had the gift of tongue. But eventually, with god's guidance, i didn't fall for the trap. The bastard confessed he has a girlfriend... and worse, his girlfriend was working in the same company. How could he hit on me when his girlfriend was just 2 bays away from him? MEN!!!! Let's make our story more entertaining. He told me he was not bragging... he had 40 plus girlfriends... what the ***k! So what did he think of me? The soon to be 42nd? 43rd? I didn't like the situation. Although I did not cheat, I felt uncomfortable when his girlfriend was around. He's the idol of polygamous men! And as you all know, he resigned. What a relief!

NOEL

Someone took my food receipt. Huwatttt??!!! Who the hell would bother to look at a food receipt? Even I don't look at it. The lady at the pantry told me that someone wanted to know me. He took my receipt and he asked the lady if she could help him get my number. I didn't give it of course. Then I received a powerpoint presentation containing the feelings of the author for me. The grammar and construction of the prose were good though. But... but... i was alarmed by the fact that this person knew what my favorite song was. He knew my middle name... and somehow, he knew more than what he was supposed to. How? He researched! FRIENDSTER... dammit! I then found a big teddy bear at my station. It was his gift. He gave me chocolates toO. Then he made friends with my manager and to some of the people I know. Suddenly, he was asking for time. Time for me to talk to him. uh? So am I required to do that because he gave me gifts? I'd had it. I told him he had to know where he stands. And tada! He's gone!

Someone I knew way back in highschool. I don't know if he should fall under this category. We're supposed to be old pals. well... YES! We're just schoolmates... =)

I don't know what is with all these. Sometimes they are fun, but sometimes I get tired too. If I wanted to, I can consider some of them. But I'd rather not. Right now, I just don't know where I am also going. Everything gets repetitive in my life and I'm getting bored. Where will I go? What do I want to be when I leave this company? Where do Mike and I go? What is God's plan for me? Am I meant to be great? Or am I just an average human being struggling for a place here on earth? When you reach the quarter life crisis... (is there such a thing?) you will end up thinking about what you had done with your life and what you would need to do to make it worth living.

I am here... stuck. It seems as if the whole world is turning and I am the only one sitting on this chair, typing a blog, chatting with Czar- who has been a very good listener!, and waiting for whatever life has to offer. I think I am losing my brain as I age.

Another Wedding- Astorga-Balda Nuptial

2007-11-12T18:07:00.001+08:00

i'm finally done transferring my livejournal blogs here. why? it's not that livejournal did not meet my expectation, it's just that i realized how many online accounts i have on the web. i wanted to centralize everything and keep a few that were worth keeping. since i've had this blogspot for a long time, this stays.

Yesterday we went to Caleruega and attended Mart's wedding.

Meet the boyband... butch, jr, feli, and jm

Spice Girls- Five girls in the barkada

Love one another but not another one...

Green Lantern and Poison Ivy

... and my award winning shot entitled "divine intervention"

closed chapter

2007-11-12T17:01:00.001+08:00

original livejournal post: October 30, 2007

October 16th... i highlighted that day on my calendar when i printed the month of October. It was my Aunt's birthday. That was the original reason why I marked the date. Little did I know that something devastating will happen that day. Let's cut the chase... THEY want changes to take place. And now, we are all in chaos.

C. Mata said to some of us: "let the weak go."

That's another way of looking at it. But not in our process director's case. The people who have more chances of getting a position are encouraged to apply internally... and what??? leave CEC=== in this case, i can predict the end of the department in 2 or 3 months.

i don't want to think about it.

here you go... the video that made me cry while i was making it. true enough, it passed my emotions to the people viewing it. They all cried toO...

the fone.. the jerk... the life i love

2007-11-12T17:00:00.002+08:00

original livejournal post: October 8, 2007

i'm on my fourth day without a celfone. i never thought it possible but now it is. if i wanted to use a fone, i could still make use of my old motorolla fone which was my companion for almost 6 years before i decided to put it in trash. there are three people who offered me their extra fones as well. i could make use of one of those... but i am just tired of pressuring myself from what happened. if i lost my fone, then be it! GLOBE is taking quite a time to find me the model of the fone that i lost. they said it will take a week or so before they would have the stock. i'm almost at my first week. how long would this last?

looking at the bright side... i experienced things not new to me, and things that i haven't done for a long time. when mike and i met last friday night, the traffic at C4 was so bad because of a burning house. when i got to monumento, i had to use a landline turned to a public pay fone to contact my sister at home and tell her to text Mike about it. Same as when we met in Vito Cruz last Saturday, I arrived early so I had to use the pay fone which i thought back then was only a display and that it never really worked. now, it saved me.

i wanted to curse October but obviously i couldn't. no matter how unlucky are the things that happened in my life right now, again... the lessons are sooo worth it.

lesson #1. I finally saw a suitor's true intention.

tsk! tsk! tsk! i wrote in this blog how it weirded me to have guys wanting to court me when they in fact have their own girlfriends. recently, i found out that the other's girlfriend is just in the office. i let out a gasp. what a complete JERK! You're girl is just a few stations away from you and you are flirting!!! when i confronted this guy through IM, he apologized for how he had been behaving lately. then he bragged how he was able to have 7 girls all at the same time when he was in college. he also was proud of the fact that he already had 50 girlfriends. "DUH??!!!!!" so what am i? you're soon to be 51st??? excuse me... if i am not mistaken, i already R-E-J-E-C-T-E-D you. Yet you deny that i did because of what??? you didn't use your 100% powers in getting me????///

well here's the thing buster... you may have had 50 girlfriends but that doesn't mean anything. what you should be worried about is for people finding out how big of a J-E-R-K you are. I am concerned for your present girl though. She can guard you for all she cares but then again, you will always find a way to loosen the grip and flirt with other girls.

lesson #2. I've got a man who loves me without a doubt

when these suitors came bugging me a few weeks ago, I was bothered. Is this the true nature of men? Is it possible for MY MAN to do the same to me with other girls? it's just a hypothetical question.

after all these, i realize again how blessed i am for having mike. he listened to my stories of these suitors and never doubted me. he was there as always. i asked him once if he would be kind enough to tell me that he likes someone else or that he is courting another girl. his answer was "no. because that would never happen." oh that's a very typical answer... yes! but the line coming from Mike was definitely true.

there are countless reasons why i love him. and i am proud to say that one of those reasons would be his values. this earned him my trust and from then on, i completely believe in him. he was the same from the time he was courting me till this day. he is mr. right. a just man~ a real man~true to this words~my protector~the right one for me.

lesson #3. i am thankful for god's guidance

there will always be a reason why things happen. these suitors came to make me see how life is. people can be sent to ruin our relationship and it's up to us to hold on and be strong.

i know i am miss soft skills. it is very rare that you would catch me saying anything bad. i always make it a point to deliver negative news in a lighter way. this is why my messages sometimes appear unclear. Yet, i find my own way get it across.

god has always been there for me.

I am PERFECTLY okay- with or without a fone. Just ask my colleagues about my reaction when i lost it. I was SMILING! i don't know why. now you can ask yourself... would there be anyone who will exert an effort to contact you and see you when the connection is gone? YES! and just having him makes me feel that i can go on without a fone forever!

for a bottle of beer

2007-11-12T16:59:00.002+08:00

original livejournal post: October 5, 2007

you're funny...
but still you suck!

you're right... it's heaven and earth.
goddess and earthling

backbone's gone...
whose is it?

it's not mine
i guess it's yours

"I'm a little bit of everything,
ALL ROLLED INTO ONE"

if it's still okay with me

2007-11-12T16:57:00.001+08:00

original livejournal post: October 4, 2007

i don't know whether i should start crying at this moment. When I look at myself in the mirror, I just happen to see a smiling me, smiling in disbelief that because of too much preoccupation, I left my new fone in the rest room. 10 minutes when I realized that I left it, I went back with Dio hoping to retrieve it. And of course, when he dialed the number... TADA! "The number cannot be reached."

The feeling can't be explained... It's obviously my fault. I don't know if I will feel down later when everything sinks in. All I know right now is that I lost it because I was so high with emotions. That's a bit alarming though. I had been like this when I was younger... I lost a celfone (the first kind na MEGA sa laki), a camera (when we went to Enchanted Kingdom) and other stuff that I can't recall anymore. But I clearly remember why I lost them... I was in nirvana! Because I was so happy, I just forgot everything!

Maybe this is Karma. But I haven't done anything bad yet... YET... Well, it's gone and I won't have it back. Although I can get a fone from Globe a few hours from now, I still won't be saved from the hassle that I have to go through.

And where is the night and shinning paramour now? I didn't even receive the comfort or at least the concern that I am expecting. Tsk! tsk!

Is this a sign? I should see that an omen is coming. Should I? I am still smiling eventhough everyone is at the pantry having breakfast and I decided to be left here still hoping for a consolation.

The people on the floor are not existing as of the moment, not unless they would be wearing a black shirt and a white cap!

I am still processing everything....

...

...

...

...

NADA!

What a waste of time and of resources!

Well, I am still okay. And I am still listening to the song that started playing in my head ever since that day. Annie this is your fault! hahaha. When she forwarded to us Shayne Ward's "If it's okay with you" and Jassen told me to imagine the song being dedicated to me, it got into me... yep! It might be my last week to listen to this song... The clouds are going down... and I am seeing sunlight.

As old folks say, another lesson in life.

think alike

2007-11-12T16:55:00.002+08:00

original livejournal post: October 3, 2007

another busy day in my ever exciting romantic month. aside from having three incomplete days for me, i was swamped with audits to finish and reports to make. we came in and noticed that our blouses were alike... black and white... what a coincidence.

i honestly don't have much to say but the fact that i was spending most of my time trying to explain to a person why things just couldn't be. it's still about understanding the psyche of men. up till now i am still working on getting my message across, which i know i have done so a couple of times, that i am not available not even for a fling.

sometimes it gives pleasure to me knowing that there are people who care for me more than they should. however, i am not the person that they should care for. they have their own lives and love interests to tend to. they could be or might be good partners, but not in this lifetime.

fun times are over!

2007-11-12T16:54:00.001+08:00

original livejournal post: October 1, 2007

As i progress into this world, the psyche of men just slowly drives me crazy.

apart from the spiders that bothered miss muffet before, there are a new breed of spiders in the area. these spiders have evolved and became more dangerous.

to begin with, they do not understand the words "i am committed" or "i am taken" or better yet, "i am not available." no comprendo! whether it be for my part or for their part. how can guys chase you when it is clear that they shouldn't? first, the person they are chasing is in a relationship and much worst, they are in a relationship toO. i refuse to believe that this is a trend that they have acquired from their previous companies. what kind of guys are these?!?

they are fun. yes! they can give you the sweetest words you would want to hear. but if you fall for those, you'll be doomed.

it is fun, but I don't need that kind of flirting in my life right now. i hope men like these two that i am talking about realize that before they go girl hunting, they should know what respect is... respect for the girl they want to be with, or respect for the girl they are already with.

curly tops

2007-11-12T16:52:00.001+08:00

original livejournal post: September 27, 2007

some curLy tOps is Driving me crAzy!

If that's ok with you..

I love the way that you look without your make up,
I had a girl before we met but we broke up,
There's something about you that makes me wanna step up,
step up and be with you... if that's ok with you?

we'll keep the neighbours awake, to late, to late,
coz i'm gonna make you feel so good,
it's how i see it happening,
yeah, we'll keep the neighbours awake, to late to late
cos baby i wanna step up and be with you,
if that's ok with you?

chorus

I'm gonna make you feel like you're heaven on earth
I'm gonna thank your mother just for giving you birth
i'm gonna wanna hold you in my arms when you cry
if that's ok with you (if that's ok with you)

I wanna keep your toothbrush at my apartment,
next make you a set of keys and ask you to move in,
i'm not crazy!
i know what i'm getting myself in,
i wanna live with you, if that's ok with you?

I'm gonna make you feel like you're heaven on earth,
I'm gonna thank your mother just for giving you birth,
I'm gonna wanna hold you in my arms when you cry.
If that's ok with you (if that's ok with you)

I'm gonna make you feel like you're heaven on earth,
I'm gonna thank your mother just for giving you birth,
i'm gonna wanna hold you in my arms when you cry.
if that's ok with you (if that's ok with you)

If that's ok with you?

we'll keep the neighbours awake, to late, to late,
i wanna love you this way that way this way
we'll keep the neighbours awake to late to late
i wanna love you this way that way this way

I'm gonna make you feel like you're heaven on earth
I'm gonna thank your mother just for giving you birth
i'm gonna wanna hold you in my arms when you cry,
if that's ok with you (if that's ok with you)

if that's ok with you?

- some guys just don't get it when you tell them that you are committed. hahaha...
- and sometimes, they can make you laugh once in a while
- step up and be with me huh?
- that is funny!

You'LL Pay.. I Swear

2007-11-12T16:48:00.001+08:00

original livejounal post: September 10, 2007

I'm convinced. September sucks more than August. Can you just wake me up when September ends? I have just posted how this month started bad and here i am posting another really bad event to prove my claim. Yesterday, we had to extend our shift without pay because we joined the outreach program of the company. Almost everyone participated. Dio of course did not. Anyway, everyone was so busy with our adopted kids. After watching the activities and helping to distribute the food, the program finally ended. We went back to our stations to get ready for going home. I was fixing my things when I noticed that my Sodexho gift certificate was missing from my bag. It was a prize given to me for being a contributor for the month. Three coaches from the team were given fifteen hundred gift certificate. I was carrying it in my bag for almost three days and it wasn't lost. However, that day... it was stolen. It was really weird. I have bills on that pocket but the culprit didn't take it. So the person was really after the Sodexho. When people noticed that I was missing it, they thought it could have been one of the facilities. I told them to stop asking who took the garbage from our bins because I have this feeling that the thief wasn't from any of them.

First of all, this isn't the first time it happened to me here in the office. I still remember what I placed in my blog when I lost 1 of my five hundred bills in my wallet. I didn't tell anyone about it because I do not want to start a commotion. And since it happened before, I am already familiar with the traces left by the thief. I was so pissed. I have already forgiven the culprit who stole my money before. Now I have to undergo the same feeling of indifference towards whoever that person might be. It is very hard to point someone as the thief specially when you do not have the evidence. There are no cameras to prove it, yes. But it doesn't mean that my instincts won't prove anything at all.

I was so angry not because my Sodexho was stoen. I was angry because that Sodexho was a prize for my hard work. It was similar to a trophy that if broken would really make me irritated.

I've been feeling so many things today. Thoughts are coming from all sides of my brain. I certainly do not like what is happening to the office. People's true skin color start to appear. I've been a witness to destructive behaviors and I'm glad I'm not in any way becoming like that. There are questions in my love life as well: things that I do not know if I should accept and let go. Somehow, I felt so alone that day. All I did was to cry all the hurts to lessen the pain. I wasn't able to talk to the people I wanted to talk to. And nobody understood what I was feeling.

The next day, after 15 hours of sleep... Mike and I went to watch the DLSU- Ateneo game. I've never really seen a live UAAP game since my university wasn't a part of it. I wore green to support Mike's college. It was fun observing. The fight was close. Ateneo won by two points. I still feel a bit bad over what happened last Saturday.

Again, I am blessed because I have more when others have less. I do not have to steal! And for heaven's sake... a gift certificate! What kind of dignity do you have? I bet that's one of the reasons why your life sucks!

waiting for September to End

2007-11-12T16:46:00.001+08:00

original livejournal post: Spetember 6, 2007

i prayed for the month of august to end because I believed it brought bad luck to all of us. Now it's September. It has just begun with heavier problems in the office. i can't concentrate on what i'm supposed to do since the problems of almost everybody kept involving me indirectly. last week, no pain killer was able to stop my headache. maybe listening to the baggage of someone who is higher than you, both in position and in age, is too much to handle. i can't believe i was the one giving action plans to the person who should be exhibiting strength in decision making. after the storm he has been through, i hope he will be back to normal.

second... friendship can also branch into problems that any group might need to face. to repeat, i am not directly involved but somehow i am affected. will you accept a friend's behavior that you know is wrong? is it a matter of accepting who the person is or helping the person realize the mistake with a prayer that that person will have the initiative to change what is wrong? there are people gifted with talents... people who can cope with stress, people who can push themselves to be what is expected of them, people who can understand and accept what is difficult for others to face... and the list goes on. i'm saddened by the fact that there are people who would take their gifts for granted. And i'm also saddened by people who were given a temporary gift. the sudden change got to their head that they do not know where they should place themselves now.i would still say that God will always bless the humble. keep your feet to the ground. if short fame gets the whole of you, you'll end up in the mud where it is difficult to get out.

third... how far can a joke go? what if the joke that was supposed to be funny ended up as a disaster? i remember years ago,judiel nieva. he made everyone believe that he was holy because he was chosen by the Virgin Mary to relay Her message of peace to the world. he even became famous for the rose petal that appeared on his tongue which after years was proven to be fake. same thing now. the event might not have been as big as judiel's but making people believe that there was a soul intervention in the game that we played who answered our personal questions wasn't really nice at all. i almost ruined my day for finding out that mike and i were not fated to get married. although i was determined to change the prophecy at that time, still i couldn't help but to get affected toO. we can also say that we were at fault as well. we fell into it so easily. whatever happened to the lessons taught to me during my religion classes?? oh yes, my faith was easily shaken. should it be an issue now? i still would go for "yes." It is not because of the answers to my questions. It is because of some name calling that was dropped. i wouldn't be happy at all if i was called as such. and another thing, someone's credibility got affected for some false accusations. and those people deserve an apology.

out of all these problems i never lost hope. i'm starting to realize that the best way to deal with problems is to face them. looking for another job is not the solution whenever you feel that you can't take it anymore. i'm beginning to like problems because i learn and will relearn in the process.

"Everything can be changed."

happy Malabon during a storm

2007-11-12T16:43:00.001+08:00

original livejournal post: August 19, 2007

wanted not just rain... but storm! and now i am getting more than what i wanted. common, we're all aware of the dry spell that hit the country last July. The government was fearing that the country might have a big crisis if no storm would hit us by August. When I saw the farmers and their dry land, I felt sorry for them. At that time, I was enjoying the no-wet-feet weather but when I saw what their life were, I wished for a storm.

And yes, this August storms kept on hitting the country. It was an inconvenience on a lot of people's side but at least the water on our dams are not in the critical level anymore.

Let me give you a glimpse of how life is like when you live in my beloved Malabon.
Yes! This is how it is when there's a tough storm. Some pity the people who live here. They ask, what good is having a house in a place like this. If you're going to ask me, take a closer look at the pictures...

People here have learned to adjust to the flood. Clearly you can see that life still goes on for all of my neighbors. It is a trait that makes me proud of them. Others may have bought houses from other places, but they kept their place here in Malabon toO. I live in a small city where I have everything I need and they are just a tricycle away. Original Malabon residents have not left the place and so will we. This is the place where you can really call your neighbors as "neighbors." The elders of the community studied in the same school. They had children who also studied in the same school, followed by the next generation and so on... Yup it gets flooded here, but look at the brighter side... there's always an awaiting adventure in my place specially with this kind of weather.

Naranasan mo na bang sumakay ng bangka? Eh ng styro? =)

inevitable

2007-11-12T16:41:00.001+08:00

original livejournal psot: August 17, 2007

stable, balanced, and worry free. it's what i wanted the world... my world to be. having this, i make it a point to always look at the positive side of every event. i learned not complain about things and take the challenge to see how far could i go. it has been wasy for me. i don't know why but maybe i was just given the gift to understand things in order to have a peaceful world... my peaceful world.

and since i am this, i can't understand why people can't forgive and do their best for the paradise i hoped our world would be. changes will be happening soon. i am seeing it and it painsme so because i can't do anything about it. I've been lost for weeks now but i tried to find my way. however, the changes just makes me lose my path even more. whatever happened to not caring whether the team progresses or not as long as they have the same goal to work on and would move as one?

there is no perfect friend. no perfect boyfrend. no perfect husband. no perfect neighbor. no perfect manager. before i used to think that i got a jackpot for getting this "manager". however, i would find a number of qualities that I don't like about the person. Yet, I have learned to accept. I do not tolerate any bad behavior. I talk when I can't take it anymore. but at the back of my mind, i am positive that things would go back to the way they are or even better.

now is different.

im starting to see that going back to the way we once were would be impossible. and true, the people closest to you can harm you the most. maybe they have not seen the impact yet of destroying the balance of the team we built so hard. when one moves, everything will move as well.

this month really sucks. i am hearing really BAD english... and i fear that if i hear it more often, i would end up speaking the same kind of language. Shit!

Things are changing...

i overheard

2007-11-12T16:39:00.002+08:00

original livejournal post: August 7, 2007

when does one accept that he is wrong and when does he stand up to what he believes is right?
when can an action be considered as stubborness or just fighting for the correct cause?

it's not my nature to argue. i'm not saying that i like to be passive. i just don't like the confusion and chaos that it could bring. however, if i know that i have a point, i make sure that i still say my piece in the modest way possible. maybe it's character differences but i still don't like hearing someone reacting and complaining when that person doesn't even have the right to be proud. first of all, he is not doing anything. second, he slacks all of the time. third, he can't be trusted with plain attendance. fourth, i can give other behaviors that wouldn't sound nice. people are different indeed. we have our own idea of what is good or not based on how we were brought up. comparing myself to that person, i can definetely say that i was raised well. i just hate his guts... purely guts and nothing else! sometimes i wish i wouldn't see him or hear him so that i could avoid sinning. when he's there, i just couldn't help but to react.

"i don't care if everybody hates me as long as i know i'm right." i don't know why he said this line. the whole context of the conversation was something not known to me. yes... i just overheard him saying this. but no matter what the situation was... he is the least person who should be saying that line. he lost his credibility as far as everyone knows. it's a brand new start for him. true, everyone should be given a second chance. i hope this applies to him too. right now, i can be as civil as i can be. however, trusting him with work is another story. leave me be. i can work well as long as I am surrounded with people who know what their responsibilities are. we're already grown-ups to waste our time in checking who is loitering, being lax, leaving his post, and neclecting his duties. if he wants to be "SOMEONE" be humble and WORK! God will reward you in the end.

i just hate show-offs!!!

update from the morning shifter

2007-11-12T16:37:00.001+08:00

original livejournal post: August 4, 2007

i finally have this whole Saturday to relax. Our one week training didn't really turn out so good. First, i had to go to work early after our team building in Canyon Woods. The team building wasn't that good either because i had my period. It really sucks to have your swimsuit and not being able to wear it . I was stuck watching the rest of the gang while my moody self can't even get a spa because i would get bruises afterwards. To continue, i went to training which was not very organized. My new role isn't so exciting as well. Somehow, it feels like they own us... that LOB... is dictating what we will be doing... how long we will be spending assisting their entire technicians without even thinking that we are CECs. (Customer Experience Coaches). We have our own manager and we also have other tasks other than listening to their technicians calls and giving them 15 minute feedback which I think are not going to help much because they wouldn't be able to retain anything anyway!

I spent too much this week... that's considering I was in the morning shift! I bought my new Motorola V6 and I was taking the cab here and there! Anyway, i finally got to finish my second gift for Mike's birthday. I bought this weeks ago. However, finishing it really took so long. But it's done! Yehhheey!!!

By the way, Isko and Angel will be transferring to Ambergris for a month. It's sad but I'm also excited for them.
Till next time!

doomsday

2007-11-12T16:34:00.002+08:00

original livejournal post: July 30, 2007

multiply is blocked!!!

I can't believe it. i thought my multiply days would go on forever. this is so bad!!! sssoooOOO bad!

reappearance

2007-11-12T16:33:00.002+08:00

original livejournal post: July 29, 2007

I've been waiting for a friend
someone I've missed so from the past

and every time i would expect him
frustrated enough, would not find him

i concluded this might go on forever
thus i should be ready
rethink if I should search for him
or admit that he's forever gone

but tonight, i mark my calendar
for he has returned!
his magical powers
took all my thoughts away

and for that moment
i saw perfect bliss
i brought him back,
we brought him back.

little miss muffet's spiders

2007-11-12T16:30:00.001+08:00

original livejournal post: July 11, 2007

they now call me little miss muffet.

how weird would you go to get the attention of someone you like?

i might have been crazy when I was young. I might have done things that made me look stupid. But I couldn't think of those as of this moment so forget it! I would still find it funny if I were at my teens. But now...

Let me introduce you to some of little miss muffet's spiders.

Spider #1

Let's call him Mr. Red Rose. He bugged my manager, my friend Angel and her husband Aldo so that he can add me through IM. And for every freaking time I would log-in, he would send me a message "Have a nice shift!". Then it would be followed by a red rose icon. Being polite as I was, I used to reply "thanks" so as not to appear rude. Thus, he continuosuly sent me messages which sometimes were at the wrong timing because I was in the middle of work. Everytime I would pass by their station, he would confidently call me to say Hi.

Soon enough... my manager told me to stop replying if I son't want him to be all over my space. So I did. And Mr. Red Rose noticed it and finally gave up sending messages.

Spider #2 (just last night)

Mr. I AM WEIRD. I was listening to a call yesterday when I stopped because a man was standing at the right side of my station. Again, out of politeness I removed my headset. He asked me if I was lsitening to a call. I said "yes". Then he stated talking and asking questions that are not even going anywhere. He asked me what our job is... what we do... if it's easy... etc... It was like an interview! I thought he wanted to apply as a coach which was why I tried my best to answer his questions. Then there was it...

THE ACKWARD moment!

There were no more questions... but he was still there... standing... looking at my things... I wanted to go back and work. But why was he still there???

I ignored him. I placed back my headset on my ears and played the call that was interrupted. However, I wasn't able to concentrate. He was just there... just there. I wanted to say "Yes? Can I still help you? If not, get out of my sight." Then he spoke. I didn't hear it so I removed my headset again. He asked if he could add me through IM. I said "ok" then asked "i'm sorry, who are you?" He gave his name but it just slipped out of my memory. I had no intention of remembering it anyway.Finally, he said he'll just go to Karl. He walked away.

Darn! I am no Little Miss Muffet!!! Dio said I am a meat for the maggots! But I am not. How weird can you get??? I suddenly realize the importance of the picture frame that Mike gave me. I think I should place it at the center of my table for everyone to see.

These spiders just can't get the message huh. I am no Little Miss Muffet. I do not want any spiders. Do not scare me for heaven's sake! I want to work peacefully.

the power of a devilish smile

2007-11-12T16:28:00.001+08:00

original livejournal post: June 6, 2007

Earlier I felt terrible. For three straight months, I had forgotten our monthsary. I had to be reminded before I realize the date. It wasn't really intentional. Time just passed quickly that I lost track of dates. Like any woman, I felt so guilty. It's a good thing he has always been understanding. And that is just one of the things I like about him. He is not forgetful which is my exact opposite. Like a book, he remembers every event including what I was wearing and the things I said.

Happy Monthsary bebe...

It's a Thursday and I am free of work. My coaching schedule happens at the start till the middle of the week. And afterwards, I am unoccupied. My creativity started to manifest again. I was hoping I could make a video out of the japanese drama that I've recently finished watching. For sure I am so late and left behind but I still watched Boku Dake No Madonna. And I was left inspired. The drama was light and I like the ending.

BOKU DAKE NO MADONNA SYNOPSIS
thanks to: www.jdorama.com/drama.774.htm

Kyoichi Suzuki is an average college student in his junior year. Although he's not in one of the top universities, he's satisfied with his college life studying architecture. Kyoichi left home and is finally on his own, living in a beat-up apartment in Tokyo. However, this apartment building is home to some out-of-the-ordinary residents, who are always bugging Kyoichi. His next-door neighbor hits Kyoichi up for a loan when he finds out that Kyoichi just got paid. His other next- door neighbor who works at a nightclub, always calls Kyoichi, demanding him to come pick her up, because she's so drunk. Other than that, Kyoichi is satisfied with his normal life, until he meets a girl one day...

Kyoichi comes home from his part-time job as a night-time security guard. He returns to his room to find a girl sleeping on his bed-a girl he has never seen before. She looks a bit older than Kyoichi, and is quite beautiful. Kyoichi can't believe his eyes.

Kyoichi closes the door, and goes outside to the entrance of the apartment, to make sure he's in the right apartment and room. There's no mistake. He returns inside...but the girl is gone.There's nobody in his room. Was it just his imagination? Was he hallucinating? Kyoichi can't understand what just happened.

Later, he discovers that something is missing from his grocery bag-the Chinese noodles he was looking forward to eating are gone...

This is how Kyoichi first meets Surumi Kataoka. After they meet, Surumi continues living in Kyoichi's room.

She points to an apartment visible from Kyoichi's room, and says that the guy living there dumped her for another girl. Surumi says that she's waiting to check out the girl she was dumped for. Kyoichi doesn't know if he ought to believe her or not.

All Kyoichi knows is that while Surumi is such a charming girl, the expression on her face is sad at times.

Kyoichi is not that disappointed about sharing his room with a cute girl. He starts to think that this lifestyle may go on forever, until one day, Surumi suddenly disappears-just like the day she suddenly appeared. All she leaves for Kyoichi are unanswered questions.

The good part is, I already have the soundtrack and I always have it played whenever I am home. I did not like the drama just because Tacky portrayed Kyon. I like the kind of plots wherein you are unsure of what the story is. At the middle of the drama, I was almost sure that Surumi was mentally sick, or maybe she has a disorder that none of the characters in the drama were able to notice. However, I was proven wrong.

Boku Dake No Madonna's English title is "You are my only Madonna... and I love her". I was thinking why the word Madonna. I just guessed that maybe it's because the leading lady is free, could be misinterpreted as a flirt or worse, promiscuous. Come to think of it, Surumi's smile is devilish indeed. She can get away with anything she likes just by flashing that heart melting smile. I wonder why the Japanese are so good with making dramas that have a very strong soundtrack.

The love story is a bit complex. And I wouldn't want to go through the troubles that the characters went through just to be able to find their one and only. I can say that I am happy with what I have now. My love story might not be as grand compared to this drama but I have learned and matured in the same way. Within these past days, I noticed that I am slowly avoiding to make a fuss on small petty things. If I feel offended, I stop to ask myself first if I should be. Or if I can't decide yet, I just smile to avoid spoiling the day. And so far, things have been positive. I ended up being fine, and my days turned out well. These are just some the the changes I am trying to make myself and the relationship better. The changes are not brought about by watching the drama. However, it gave me an idea that smiling could work wonders. It can hide your true feelings if you are hurting. It can help you get favors. It can turn your day from bad to good. And it can brighten other people's day too.

Blue

2007-11-12T16:25:00.001+08:00

original livejournal post: June 29, 2007

I am feeling blue today. This might be a hormonal imbalance since I will be having my period anytime soon. Once again, I think of my scary future, the one I haven't planned, the one I couldn't see. I wanted to think that I would spend it with Mike but often times, I would tell myself to stop. Do not hope. Never assume. I might just be passing by his life like what I did with the others. I used to see myself as a glass with an overflowing water. I had so much love to share. I always thought that it wouldn't be wrong to give a lot of love since I have so much with me that I was willing to share. I can endure hurt after hurt and I would still have more to give to the next person I would crown prince. However, I am feeling tired. I never thought the glass would eventually have less water than it had before. And since I only have enough, I am afraid to lose for I might have nothing left anymore.

I wish I have the power to look into my life as a different person and see what I was and what I am now. It would be nice to stalk and find out if someone loved me the way I loved them. Could there be someone who would do anything just to see me smile? just to see me happy? And if there is, can I look into his face and just admire how that would look? I want to see the look of someone who is in love, the look of someone who is willing to do everything for me.

I might have seen it before, or recently. But sometimes I forget. And when I want to remember, I can't.
I can't go on without seeing where to go. Sometimes I would think that Mike is saving for us... saving for an engagement ring? saving for a wedding? But then I would think otherwise. He is not saving for me. He is saving for his trip to US. Until now he hasn't talked to me about it. I am just at the edge of that cliff. One bad news and I can fall so hard, and get hurt too deep. But I wouldn't ask because I am afraid. I am so coward. I don't want to hear the answers that will frustrate me so I'd rather not.

Smile. Pretend. Act happy. Maybe I can fool myself. I am good at that. I better do better this time.

I am officially letting go of my barriers like what I have always done before. Shoot me... Stab me... I would take it. I feel strongest when I am with the person i love. But when he leaves, I will fall. This time I can't assure myself if I can recover.

I can lie. However, there is always some truth to every lie.

I can lie that I am not hoping... that I am not expecting... that I will be fine when he leaves... that I am strong...
I hope there will be some truth to that... I hope I can make it.

the subject-verb agreement story

2007-11-12T16:21:00.002+08:00

original livejournal post: June 28, 2007

What could be more draining than holding a class where the students can't even identify a subject and a verb. If I was teaching in grade school I can still understand. But that's not the case. I am teaching people older than me... people who have been in the industry I am at for 4 years or more. I am not mocking them. Truth is, I feel a bit thankful that I have a purpose, which is to help them improve. I am just being drained by the challenges that are unraveling in front of me.

The topic is making your subject and verb agree. I asked the class to create a sentence wherein the subject is joined by the word "and".

THE SENTENCE:
"Charmed and Superman is my favorite series."

me:
let's identify first what is your subject.
what are your favorite series?

student 1:
charmed and superman

me:
is that singular or plural?

student 1:
singular

me:
how many favorite series do you have?

student 1:
a lot

me:
how many?

student 1:
10???

me:
look at your sentence.
let's focus on your sentence.
charmed is a series right?

student 1:
yes.

me:
can i watch charmed without watching superman?

student 1:
yes

me:
can i watch superman without watching charmed?

student 1:
yes

me:
so how many series do you have?

student 1:
I actually have 10 episodes.

me:
(almost giving up)
charmed is one series.
superman is another.
how many is that?

student 1:
two?

me:
so is that singular or plural?

student 1:
plural

hoorah! hoorah!

me:
now, what is your verb?
"Charmed and Superman is my favorite series."

student 1:
series

me:
a verb is an action or it can be a state of being

student 1:
ow, favorite

me:
no. so we are down with two.
(encircling the words IS and MY)
what is the verb here?

student 1:
MY

(the rest of the class gasped then said "IS")

student 1:
IS!!!

*Hay, gusto kong mag TUMBLING!!!!*

And there is one of my funny yet draining moments with the class. But I am still happy eventhough I am drained because I see them learning. 4 days wouldn't be enough for them to re-learn the basics of grammar but I will do my best. I remember how it felt when I was asked a mathematical question during high school and i did not know the answer. I would give answers hoping I'd get lucky and say the correct one. I know the feeling of that student is the same. I do not want to embarass anyone in the class. My goal was to make sure they really understood each lesson. And that is what I am still doing. It is tiring but I guess this is why I was chosen to be a teacher. I have the patience to smile and motivate them to find the right answer. Their learning is time pressured. It's either they make it or they don't. I would be so happy if I could have one of them get the cut-off score... even just one...

But no one is giving up... not even me.

So tara! Tumbling tayo... it will keep us athletic tOO... =)

our tagaytay getaway

2007-11-12T16:19:00.002+08:00

original livejournal post: June 27, 2007

I've been out for awhile. Last week was a very hectic one because i had to train a class in grammar. I thought I will be able to post pictures from that particular week wherein all of us were in the morning shift. But time ran out. I might be posting them, or not. I really am not in the mood to do so because this week, the week i thought i could start working on the 6th month report, became another training week. Just when Dio and I thought it was over, the training department gave us, initially, 3 technicians to train. Today however, the rest of the techs will be joining the class because of some new arrangements. Hay! Talk about flexibility.

Outside I can hear the rain pouring hard. And I am starting to fear that my Boracay trip which will be in two weeks will be stormy. knock! knock! I hope i am wrong. Mike and I got the tickets sometime last April, I think. Maybe I should get ready with eggs to offer to saints so as not to experience bad weather.

More updates. Last Saturday, 6 members of the team, which includes me of course, went to Karl's ancestral house in Tagaytay. Originally, everyone was supposed to be there for the team's pictorial for the 6th month report magazine. But most of them made plans. So as not to spoil the excitement, we went there just for the heck of it. Obviously, there were so many spots to use for picture taking. The venue itself left all of us amazed. A modern ancestral house that looks similar to the house used in the Korean series "Full House", which has a big glass that lets you view the beauty of nature, most specifically Taal had all of us into our digital cameras to take shots everywhere. The villa was so large and was finished with intricate details. There was a green room, red room, tan room, a music room, a poker room, a grotto, a garden, a billiards area, a chapel, and probably more areas that we haven't gone to.

the poker room

the balcony view

back view of the villa

front view of the villa

my favorite spot in the house

some flower beauties

and of course... fun!

and more fun!

The villa is for sale though. 75 million pesos. After generations, the families had been so busy that they rarely commune to the place. It is now left to the caretakers.

Going to Tagaytay was fun! Aside from the usual vodka and other drinks, we had the house all to ourselves. I want to go back.

a look back

2007-11-12T16:16:00.002+08:00

original livejournal post: June 15, 2007, 8:04pm

you were there once; you believe you've had enough.
being young has its disadvantages too...
you got yourself fooled though you already saw it coming
and you changed no matter how you deny it.

years passed and indeed it is funny
how you would remember vividly how you once felt
you thought the world is for real
maybe, but not in the eyes of the young
it was a game they thought you're playing
till you changed no matter how you deny it.

--- you still look the same.

-meg

a multiply personal message

2007-11-12T16:12:00.001+08:00

original livejournal post: June 13, 2007

i got 7 replies to my posts and 1 personal message in multiply.

weird...

it came from a name i do not know...

he said:

"hello! it's just purely accidental that i found your site...was just looking for a certain song and it led me here....got curious and browsed your pictures...wow! you are so nice! (sorry! can't help myself..)...i really don't do this thing (like leaving messages to a site's owner) but....i don't know..i guess i just have to leave you a message...an appreciation at the least....i wish we can become friends even if it will just be confined here in Multiply..or if you won't buy my idea, i'll just thank you for....just you.....am glad to have viewed your picture (sorry for not getting the permission)... "

unfortunately, when i closed the page, i also lost the link to that message.

it is flaterring to hear someone giving such a compliment.
he mentioned how just looking at my pictures made him happy.

i never thought it could be possible...
i admire other people's pictures too
but they never give me happiness...
just curiousity, that's it.

whoever this person is... i hope he is not a faker
or someone pretending to be anonymous
because i rejected him in real life.

well... at least i know that someone appreciates the photos.

it wasn't felt

2007-11-12T16:10:00.000+08:00

there's a need i am wanting...
a dark hole is burning
everything happens in a sudden
and it can't be felt...
it can't be felt...

how can happiness be whole?
when a dark hole is burning
dreams just flash
and for how long
when it can't be felt...

can someone really know who he is
or always, you'll end up realizing
you could be different
someone you thought you could never be
maybe, when it can't be felt...

break free... go wild...
be promiscuous...
it shouldn't happen in a sudden
are you hearing me
are you listening

my alter ego is arising
because a dark hole keeps burning
i will contain it
but i have to feel it
i have to... i need to...

this is not the picture i envision
when can one feel it
will i ever feel it
cause now it can't be felt
and i am changing...

original livejournal post: June 11, 2007, 2:53

Happy Tuesday Dress up Theme

2007-11-12T16:05:00.001+08:00

original livejournal post: June 10, 2007

Another Saturday has passed. I was quite busy the past weeks which is why I haven't updated my LJ on the pirates theme in the office.
After that week, we had another Costume Tuesday theme... Back-to-SchoOL..
Since that week was the start of classes, we literally worked in school uniforms.
It was fun because we got to bond with each other we used our creativity
and most of all, we had fun while making sure that we finish what has to be done.

After having everyone vote and vote again to break the tie...

Papa Foo won for this HAPPY TUESDAY DRESS-UP THEME.

The following week we had our BACK-TO-SCHOOL Happy Tuesday Dress-up theme...
The bad part was that I was 3 hours late for work!!!
Our car stopped first somewhere at the middle of the PIER area.
Then it stopped again before we reach Manila Hotel.
My sister and I got stuck in a gasoline station.
We had to seek help from Mike or else we stay there forever.
We called for towing service and it costs me much!

I managed to get to work that day...
although I was not in the mood to change to my school uniform
i had to because they were all waiting for me so that they could start the judging.

so they did.

This week, there had been a tie between

Angel and Dio

but after our SURVIVOR and PINOY BIG BROTHER STYLE OF VOTING

Dio gets his victory...

My New Baby

2007-11-12T16:02:00.001+08:00

original livejournal post: june 4, 2007, 8:09

At last, after months of waiting and suffering, living this life without a digital camera, it came finally to its end. I have always ranted the trouble i got for having my old Casio fixed all the time until i felt tired and just decided to give up. Now, I am back. So expect more updates and pictures.

I was supposed to get the Canon A550 but i decided that i only have to give a few more thousands and i get get a camera with face detection. So I ended up getting Canon A560. I know it's not an SLR and I have no plans of buying an SLR because:

I am not an official photographer
It's huge
I can't bring it to the office
It's way expensive

There... I am just being honest. But of course I admire those people with SLR. Hats off!

So we tOok some pictures from my new baby.

After that, Mike and I went dinning, shopping, and lastly, got a massage at BIG APPLE EXPRESS SPA, South wing SM Mall of Asia. I got a Wall Street massage while he got a Hawaiian. The experience was good. It was of course far different from my experience with Harrison PLaza's Blind Massuer. In Big Apple, there are individual roOms with a bed of course! It just feels so relaxing after all the stress we've been through. CEC plans to go to a Spa toO... I just went ahead of them. =)

Great weekend! A new baby, and a totally relaxed body and mind.